Sunday 7 September 2014

Cemetery - Haiku

bridge of hope it once was
love, dreams and happiness
blossomed on its path

blossomed on its path
brought togetherness to life
new moon day it was

new moon day it was
she never knew, that its light
would drain, drop by drop

would drain, drop by drop
leaving traces of darkness
below her cold feet

below her cold feet
turns that bridge
into cemetery of feelings



68 comments:

  1. drying tears
    tombstone letters -
    a cold draft

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  2. Loved how you used the prompt ... awesome :-)

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  3. This is really a refreshing, new style - a whole saga in haiku, poetical, with patterns that are worth taking in slowly. Found this really powerful.

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  4. Very nice chain of haiku --

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  5. A skilled weave of haiku, braiding a path from bridge to cemetary.

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  6. i enjoyed the the piece as a whole storyline

    gracias for sharing

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    1. Glad you liked this Marcoantonio. Welcome to my blog :)

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  7. that was a bit sad for me .. but a beautiful haiku as it made a impact on me

    Bikram's

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  8. haunting, moody - beautiful linking haiku

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  9. beautiful and filled with sorrow too.

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  10. Very potent haiku string

    Much love...

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  11. Nice form and contrasts.

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  12. Oh dear--you use your form well to get to the inevitability of all of this. One thing leading to next. k.

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  13. You interwove your lines with great style.

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  14. loved how you went with it..Beautiful :)

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  15. All of them are done well.
    A nice read.

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  16. Very poignant lines full of emotions.

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  17. Powerful n different take, Jyotsna

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  18. Hi Jyotsna,

    Feeling good to read your words here after many days... Nice Haiku, it was like how I feel after reading 'Zen' stories.. There is a lot to feel but the narration is cold as if free of all of them... Feeling that 'free of all' feeling... I cannot stop telling again that your words have a lot of power...

    TC! keep smiling :)

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    1. Sindhu, you overwhelm me with your comments every time. They make me smile for days together. Thanks a lot for being so kind with your words. Lots of love :)

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  19. "she never knew, that its light would drain, drop by drop"... it touched where it hurts!

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  20. A little sad but loved how you gently moved from feeling to feeling. :)

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    1. Thanks Saru. Glad you liked the feelings I have woven here :)

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  21. An excellent set of haiku...love the way you've wandered along with the feeling...

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  22. Loved the way you meandered around feelings.Please do accept my nomination for an award http://ilakshee.blogspot.in/2014/09/my-award.html.

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    1. Thanks Ilakshee for your kind words about the haiku and also for the award :) :)

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  23. Very powerful read! Full of imagery. Well done!

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  24. cemetery of feelings...How did u even come up with that. wow~

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  25. P.S- This is just to tell u that m back. :P

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  26. Excellent with a dash of melancholy.

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  27. Beautiful. Have just started writing Haiku but yours seems so effortless :) Good one!

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    1. Thanks a lot for the 'effortless' comment :) Welcome to the haiku loving community. I should go and check yours :)

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  28. You understood it correctly Ashwini.. The haiku was written keeping in mind the loss of someone !!

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