What actually matters is inside you

I knew it was my last chance to save what I had then. A last chance to save my relationship from slipping away into oblivion. It had taken courage to dial her number. It had taken contemplation of days. Numerous drafts of messages that were written, edited and then deleted. Re-written and re-edited and when the ‘send’ button was finally pressed, I felt my breath being stuck in my windpipe till I received the reply.

It was a plea to meet. It was a plea to be able to at least put my point of view. A plea that I would be devastated if he left at this point. And she was my only messenger at that time. She was his best friend. Somebody he listened to. She was privy to everything between us. The fights, the arguments and the lovemaking too. I had felt violated in some way when I came to know that she knew everything about us. One might be the closest friend, but what happens between lovers should stay between lovers. But only I believed that, not him.

She agreed to meet over a weekend at a popular fast food chain near her office. Entire day, my stomach churned with nervousness and my heart paced like it was running a marathon. I rehearsed the lines I would say to her in my head. I wanted to tell her about the good, bad and mundane times we had shared. I wanted her to convince him to not leave me at a time when the marriage was on the cards and when I had moved mountains to convince my family. 

I reached on time and waited. I saw her walking towards me and something inside me dreaded this meeting. But I was determined to take my chance. We went inside, ordered the food and took our table.

We started talking about work and other stuff munching on the French Fries. I tried steering the conversation on the reason of our meeting. She probed what had happened. I told her whatever I could in an urgency as if my life depended on every sentence I uttered. But, my every argument for saving the relationship was counter argued with narration of every fight we had. It pinched hard that everything between us was already out there in front of a third person. My mouth was turning bitter with the bitterness in her voice. I was already declared a culprit. But like every alleged culprit I had to put my points hoping it would be my saving grace.

‘You know what I have been telling him since last three years to break up with you. He never agreed then. When you are not compatible with someone, you should just move on. What is the point of being unhappy and be in a relationship?’ she said dipping her burger in ketchup.

‘Three years?’ her words stung my ears. But we had started having arguments just six months back. How could she be convincing him to break up with me since three years? The questions loomed large. The answers of which I wasn’t ready to listen.

‘See’  she continued. ‘You have to be practical. You can’t be with someone who isn’t compatible with you. Do you understand what I am saying?’

I didn’t. Her practical advice felt like acid on my skin. I continued staring at her while she munched on her burger nonchalantly as if she were talking to somebody who was asking her advice on where to buy reasonably priced groceries.

‘Have you seen yourself in the mirror?’ I heard her.

‘Huh?’ I asked.

‘Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Just look at yourself. You are overweight. Much more than him. Don’t you think he has already been too kind in accepting you this way? I mean he looks way better than you since he isn’t fat like you.’ she said.

I stared.

‘I know you both were in a relationship and all that. But we have to be practical. I mean which guy would accept your weight while he is so fit. So I think you should tone down. Not just physically but also as a woman. Accept whatever he says. Do as he wants. He is the man after all. Plus he is accepting you with the weight. No man would want to be with you if you are healthier than him.’

Her words hung around me like stale air. I choked on them. She was another ‘woman’ I was talking to. An educated woman. An educated working woman.

And there she was. Telling me that I didn’t deserve my relationship just because I was overweight? That I was receiving some favour because the guy was fitter than me? That it was absolutely okay to pull down a woman by another woman just because she had more layers of fat around her than her man?

The noise around me had suddenly increased. A child bawled on the adjacent table. Something was nauseating me. I felt claustrophobic. Because there were too many people around? Or was it something else? Maybe the thought? That the only parameter a woman lays down for another woman for being in a relationship with somebody was her weighing scale.

The relationship eventually ended after I found that the real reason for the misunderstanding was not me but his interest in somebody else. But it was too late till then. Because somewhere deep inside, I blamed myself and the weight for everything that happened. Because I was judged for the outer appearance that I carried. Until I accepted myself for what I was. A person with stories to narrate, a person with poetry inside, a person who was not just her appearance.              

  

Did you know that:

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

My Wishlist Continues - #WhatTheBlack

Being a photographer’s daughter, this is the most obvious choice. Though I haven’t really tried my hand at professional cameras, I wish to own one myself. An amazing Nikon DSLR in black is what I am drooling currently on. I wish I would be able to lay my hands on it sometime soon.

It’s been years since I have trying to learn to drive a car. But no matter how hard I try, the accelerator - break and clutch synchronization is just out of my understanding. My brother has given up trying to make me understand the basics. And hence when Maruti launched Maruti Celerio – the Auto Gear Shift Car that gives the freedom from having to press the clutch pedal or change gears, I think I have found a solution to my problem. I hope to buy one soon.

My room is currently painted in a dull shade of grey which looks drab and boring. Going by the current interior decoration trends, I have always wanted to paint one of the walls in black. I love collages and I wish to hang some of my handmade collages on that wall. The wall would also be the home for all the wonderful greeting cards I have received till date. (Yes, I have all of them in my safe custody)

What can be a writer’s wish than to win award for her writing skills. I wish to pen down a movie someday. And that Salman Khan acts in that movie. And then that movie goes on to become one of the biggest hits of its times. And then, I win a Filmfare for best screenplay. Yeah, Yeah, I know am daydreaming. But this is a wishlist and I can wish for anything :P

And now when I shall win the Filmfare, obviously I shall need an amazing black gown to wear for the occasion right? 

So well, that’s pretty much my wishlist for black.

This post is a part of #WhatTheBlack activity at BlogAdda.com

Inspiring a Fragrance

This incident happened a few months back. I was driving from Mumbai to Pune with my dear friend who has recently been married and stays at Pune. I was in Mumbai for some work. My friend, Priya had come to meet me in Mumbai.  I had the weekend off and she insisted I visit her home. I couldn't refuse. After all, what better way to spend the weekend than with a dear old friend, I thought. We took her car and drove off to Pune. A pleasant weather, a large flask of coffee, some eatables, cool music and an old friend to keep company. What else could I wish for! We started early morning so that we could avoid traffic.

It must have been around 8 am when just before hitting the Mumbai-Pune Expressway, we saw a lady waving her hands furiously asking for a lift. I could see her car parked which I believe must have broken down. My first reaction was to not stop. After all, you can never trust strangers these days. But just as I drove past her, something inside me asked me to stop. What if she is in some emergency? I can atleast ask her what’s wrong, I thought and stopped the car. Both of us got down. She seemed relieved to see our car stop and came running towards us. I could see she was well-dressed and looked like an educated woman. Panting a bit, she said that her car had broken down and she needed to reach Pune urgently and asked for a lift. She also said that she would pay me if need be. I wanted to help her but somehow I couldn’t really trust her and asked her to take a cab. May be she sensed that I was hesitating to help her.

‘I know it’s really difficult to trust strangers these days. May be if I would have been in your place, I would have done the same. But trust me. I could have taken a cab but it would be very late by the time I call for a cab service. Besides, I cannot hire a cab here since I have my two year old son with me and I am a little apprehensive about unknown cab drivers. I work for a multinational. Here’s my card. Hope you would be able to trust me now’, she said.

I looked at the card. Shivani Prasad. She was a General Manager at an Advertising firm. Priya and I looked at each other and talked in Gujarati saying that it wouldn’t be a problem if we gave her a lift. She seemed genuine. And we nodded to give her the lift till Pune. She seemed relieved.

She ran back to her car, brought her luggage and put it inside our car. She then went and picked up her son. She took the backseat and we started the journey with her thanking us profusely. She told us that it was her brother’s engagement today at Pune and that’s why she was in a hurry. She went on to tell us a few things about herself. Her son, Aditya was a cheerful little baby. Contrary to my expectations, not once during the whole journey did he cry. Shivani kept him entertained with her songs and funny noises. Priya held Aditya for a long time and he seemed comfortable even with complete strangers like us. 

We took turns to driving. And while Priya was at the wheel, Shivani offered me to hold the baby. I refused saying that they are delicate creatures. And that I was sure the moment I would hold him he would start howling. Shivani laughed at this and thrust Aditya in my arms. And to my utter surprise he did not cry. He smiled his cutest smile at me and my heart just melted holding this beautiful little kid in my arms. He somehow found my earrings very amusing and played with them all through the journey.

I don’t know whether we kept Aditya entertained with our gimmicks to make him laugh or we were being thoroughly entertained in his company. Hours passed in a jiffy and soon we were in Pune. Shivani told us her address and it was time to say goodbye to Aditya. While Shivani insisted that we join her at her brother’s engagement, we politely refused even though, I had half mind to attend it since that would have meant some more wonderful time with the cutie pie. I clicked a few pictures with him for the amazing time I had. Shivani thanked us again and we drove off.

I somehow felt so connected with that kid. The car without Aditya’s smiling noises felt so quiet. While we were driving quietly towards Priya’s home, I suddenly asked, hey what’s that fragrance?

‘What fragrance?’

‘Can’t you smell, there is this amazing kind of fragrance in the car. Something very different.’

‘I got it’, she said.

‘What?’

‘This is Aditya’s fragrance.’

And she was right. It was a baby’s fragrance. I know everytime a baby is around, a unique mesmerizing fragrance enwraps the air. A faint fragrance that is a concoction of various baby products and something indefinable. May be the indefinable is the fragrance of their innocence. A tinge of sweetness mixed with the warmth you feel in your heart when you a hold a baby. Perhaps it is this warmth that leads to this baby fragrance. Ethereal you would say and I wouldn’t argue. Perhaps, every fragrance isn’t meant to be defined, some should be silently savored, in all its purity amalgamated with an aura of bliss. That scent tugged my heartstrings in ways more than one, capturing my mind too, as I drifted away in its smoothness.

How I wish I could capture this baby fragrance in a bottle and keep it with me. And every time I used it, it would bring me back to the wonderful time I spent with Aditya. How I wish such fragrance existed !        

This post is written for #InspireAFragrance in association with Indiblogger and Godrej Aer

My Wishlist - #WhatTheBlack

Majestic, Dark, Intriguing

These words in my head start ringing     

When you ask me #WhatTheBlack

What do I wish, What do I lack

A Black Labrador is on the wishlist first

Holding it I am sure, day’s stress would burst

Coming home to eagerly waiting eyes

To unadulterated love and its accompanying highs  

(Yes, I have been dying to get a Labrador since quite some time now. It’s just that a few members of my family aren’t too keen on having one. But I hope to convince them soon. I just can’t wait to have one)

A huge Black Reclining Chair follows next

So that I could sink in whenever I need rest

After all the travelling that I do everyday

A cozy place is what I need at the end of the day

(I saw one at a friend’s house sometime back. And I have been waiting to get my hands on it since then. And I want a huge one. Trust me, a huge one.)

Was thinking of what follows third

And then to me it suddenly occurred

A limitless supply of Kohl would do

For those sexy eyes to make everybody drool

(Kohl eyes. Sigh. I love it. No, wait, I just lurvvvvv it. You wouldn’t find me without kohl in my eyes. Never. Ever. I have tried almost every kohl product available in market. And if I stop buying kohl for atleast next two years, I am sure I wouldn’t run short of the products. But, why make such high hopes. I am never gonna stop buying them :P )

And then comes the wishing for the fourth

What else would I need to survive henceforth

Endless cups of Black Coffee would just be suffice

To make sure my words are magical enough to entice

(Mind overflowing with ideas for new stories. Rain. A laptop. Black Coffee. Enough said !!)

And finally what would be number five

Let me check of what am I deprived

A sleek Black iPad is something to which I wouldn’t ever say no

To keep me connected while I am on the go

(Need I say more ?? I guess not)

This post is a part of #WhatTheBlack activity at BlogAdda.com

My Phone, My Super Power

Picture this. A thirty five year old well-educated, well settled person is busy in his hectic office and personal life. His parents stay in a small town that he grew up in. He takes care of all the needs of his parents. But what they need is not the money or materialistic wealth that he sends, but a few warm words stating that he still values them and misses them too. But who has the time to call up parents and ask them about what they had for dinner last night or if the old father is taking his medicines on time.

Picture this too. A teenage girl is stopped by his mother from going for late night parties or to her friend’s house by her mother again and again. The girl feels that her mother is overly strict and has problems with everything she does and gets increasingly irritated by her mother.

How about picturing this? A son hardly talks to his father replying him in monosyllables. The father believes that it is because his son is too arrogant to even acknowledge his presence or that he doesn’t even bother to reply him coherently. In reality, the son is an introvert who finds it difficult to express his feelings but finds his father's presence comforting.

And finally why don’t you picture this? There is a small tiff between lovers and they stop talking for days. Individual egos restrict them to come back to each other even though they terribly miss each other. One thing leads to another and the relationship breaks since none of them took the leap to convey the other person their feelings.

Do you see a similarity in all these cases? May be you guessed it. Yes, it is communication. Rather, lack of it.

‘Communication is the key to the survival of any relationship’ - is one of the most clichéd lines I have ever heard and yet it stands true to its every word.  Lack of it can wreak havoc on any relationship. Everybody knows this and yet how many of us follow this. In all the examples above, lack of time, inability to express feelings and ego became the medium of this thing called ‘lack of communication’. (Yes, I know I sound like those relationship experts but am I not correct here?)

For the heck of saying, today we are connected with people around the world 24*7. Yes, technically we are. But all this time, while we were getting connected with strangers across the continents, we probably forgot connecting with our own near and dear ones.

So, when it is being asked if my phone had a superpower, I can think of nothing better but this special power inside my phone that when held close to my heart would let the person I am thinking about know that I am missing them and that I value them or that I am worried about them or that I love them.

In all the examples above, how wonderful it would be if the parents would receive a ping from their super busy son when he thinks about the backyard garden where he played with his father. Or how relieved would the mother be if she knew that her daughter understands her concern everytime she is out late at night. Wouldn’t the father find more time to spend with his introvert son who needs his help everytime he is stuck up in a situation? And that relationship which broke-up because none of the two people who though terribly missed each other took the plunge of just picking up the phone and talking, wouldn’t it have been beautiful when both of them received pings when the other person missed them. 

As for me, how badly I wish that when I am in middle of a meeting, and I think about my mother for a flash of a second and my phone would let her know that even though I don’t have the time to call her up from my office, I still miss her. How I wish that when I see a group of friends having fun at a tea stall, I remember my college times and my phone would let my best friend know that I miss those times and that even though I don’t call quite often, the college memories are still afresh in my mind.

Just like me there are thousands of others who have probably got disconnected with their near and dear ones due to this so-called thing known as ‘lack of communication’. And this superpower phone could let their families and friends know that they are being missed or that they are still valued and ofcourse loved too. 

Just a simple mechanism and yet so powerful to make our lives so peaceful, so beautiful - to read the heart, and to convey the words that are often lost in chaotic pace today. How I wish my phone has this superpower !!   

This post is written for '#IncredibleZEN' contest organized by Indiblogger in association with Asus-Zenfone. 

Things That Zest Up My Life !!

Humdrum of life everyday

Colours missing, it sometimes seems grey  

Life passes by in mundane routines

Unless done a few things that add life some sheen

There are a few things that I swear by

They add a vivacious zest to my life

Around them, in my eyes, a smile you would see

With these near me, a good time I am guaranteed 

Words cannot describe what I feel

How writing makes my insides heal

Passion is just filament of a feeling

When my thoughts meet paper, a whole new world starts reeling  

 I lap up books like a hungry child

When I hold one in my hands, I feel beguiled

In them, sometimes I become a saint and at times I play somebody’s wife

With every book that I read, I live a beautiful new life

Shopping for me is no less than a therapy

Days become cheerful however they were horrible or crappy   

Like every woman, I’m a shopping lover by birth

And trips to malls are my ticket to heaven on earth

Long drives in rain recharge me

In my ecosphere of thoughts, I love to flee

Because with every falling drop

Negativity and worries inside me get wiped off

 Melts my heart on seeing ice-creams

Bland without them my life would seem

The diet goes for a toss when they are around

With every bite, in a never ending bliss I get drowned    

These are things that bring in my eyes a fresh gleam

Happiness happily following along with its team

These are the things that invoke within a fiery zest

And I celebrate my life’s moments with them like a fest

The list of zests for me is enough long

And I can about them, go on and on

Coz what would life be if you live without any passion

Coz I believe, Life is to be lived with a contagious enthusiasm

This post is a part of the #ZestUpYourLife activity in association with TATA Zest and BlogAdda.com.

My 'Zesty' Five

There are some words which are positive in their sound itself. They carry a happy and a bright feeling with them. ‘Zest’ is one such word. The dictionary defines this word as ‘great enthusiasm and energy’. I am sure everybody has something or the other in their lives that induces this zest in them. These few things make moments in life worthwhile. A few such things for me would be:

Watching Reality Dance Shows: No, don’t think that I can shake a leg or something. Nope. I just can’t. But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying these shows. No matter how bad day I have had in office, play these shows at the end of the day in front of me and my mood gets lifted watching all those amazing and complex dance moves and lifts. I follow them fervently not missing a single episode of them. And while they are on, dare anybody touch the remote?  :P

Listening to Wind Chimes:  I love them. I just love their music. I have so many of them in the balcony of my room. Their soft tinkling sound is a great mood lifter for me. I think they are one of the best gifts that I receive (Yes, people around me know my love for them and I keep on receiving these once a while. Ofcourse, that doesn’t stop me from buying new ones for myself :P ). I love collecting them. And I hope to have a room full of wind chimes someday.  

Collecting Diaries:  My love for diaries is well known to people around me. And if a writer woudn’t collect diaries, who would? I have a huge collection of them. And I have different diaries for different purposes. One for writing all the good happenings of the day, one for making to-do lists, one for writing bad incidents and learning for life, one for remembering birthdays (yes, I am the traditional types, I don’t depend on my phone for that) and the most special one is for writing thoughts that get converted into blogposts. I protect my collection fiercely and nobody (even from my family) gets a chance to take away a single one from my collection. Seeing my collection everytime fills me up with immense happiness.

Making personalized gifts: Yes, I make personalized gifts for my loved ones. Somehow, making scrap books and other such personalized gifts gives me satisfaction. It makes me believe that I have put my heart into giving that gift. And I know the receivers treasure it too. That way, a part of me and the moments they have spent with me always remains with them. I love seeing the smile it brings on the people receiving these gifts. It makes them feel special and me happy.

Baking: This is my newest hobby or passion or experimentation field, whatever you can call. I have been fascinated by it. Watching ‘Cup Cake Wars’ and other cooking and baking shows on television has induced this new found interest in me. I have tried my hand at a few dishes recently. Not that everything turned out to be amazing but a few of them sure did. And I hope to hone my baking skills with time.

Well, these few things do the trick for me. What about you?

This post is a part of the #ZestUpYourLife activity in association with TATA Zest and BlogAdda.com.

The Perfect Travel Companion - #TimeToTransform

Right, so they ask me what keeps me hooked on to technology even when I am on the move? Perfect question for a sarkari babu who travels three hours to work everyday. Imagine! Three hours a day and that too in those worn-out buses. Staying in one end of one city and working in another city altogether leaves me ample time for doing anything that I like. But, only when I am on the move.

Umm.. so, what are my options while I travel? Well, I could doze off into perfect slumber. But, with the cacophony generated from those obsolete buses, I guess only dead can sleep in them. And not to forget the distant cousins of Michael Schumacher that we have as the drivers of these buses who ensure that the passengers do not get a chance to even catch a wink. So, well, the sleep part is not an option at all.

I could chat with fellow passengers. But, considering everybody around me is either in his late forties or fifties, I have some serious doubt about the kinds of conversations we could have. With women in the bus who are more interested in discussing recipes and good tuition teachers for their darling kiddos, I fear I can be of much help to them in any of these departments. So, friendly chitchat with fellow passengers gets ruled out too.

Then, what options does a poor sarkari babu travelling to work have to keep herself entertained throughout the long and treacherous journey? And the answer to that is that little invention called mobile phones. (God Bless the guy who invented this super awesome invention) So, you probably got my answer for the question asked in the first line. It’s my phone that keeps me hooked to technology.

Well that’s what I do while I am on the move. I don’t know if you can say that I am hooked to my phone. No. Hooked would be understatement of the millennium. I am literally bound by some invisible bond that makes me stick to my phone as if my life depends on it. And in a way it does.

My phone is a smartphone but it hasn’t remained too smart with time. And how often can an honest sarkari babu afford to change her phone. Well, atleast not in less than 2 years. And mine hasn’t completed two years yet. So that’s what I have. And howsoever it behaves with me I love it to no extent. Mind you, never ever, have I forgotten to take my phone along with me!

And I do whatever little my phone allows me to do. Now who in today’s times isn’t addicted to social media? I admit, I am. Totally and crazily addicted. Being a blogger, social media also doubles up as my platform for showcasing my blog. (That’s another thing that this is also an excuse I give to my family when they get angry for my excessive facebook addiction). So after hopping onto my bus and fanatically searching for a good place to sit, the first thing that I do is open my facebook account. I mean, isn’t it obvious since I remain away from my phone while sleeping? And after I have satisfied myself that I have not missed any updates, the next thing that I search fanatically in my huge bag is my headphones. (Yes, my bag is a typical woman bag which means you can never find what you are looking for unless you topple the contents upside down) And after getting some dirty looks from my co-passenger because of my continuous shifting in my seat while searching for my headphones, I plug them in and dissolve into some amazing music. And yes not to forget, all during this facebooking and music, I am continuously chatting to some or the other friends of mine. Whatsapp is another boon for me. And that’s exactly how my journey to work is. All thanks to the technology called mobiles the harrowing journey to work is a little less painful for sarkari babus like me.       

But I have just one grudge with my dear phone. It doesn’t allow me to read properly and let’s not even talk about the writing part. I have to keep on scrolling the pages of the lovely blogs that I wish to read and it takes me ages to finish reading smallest of the posts. And at the end of it, rather than getting the satisfaction of having read some wonderful posts, I am half tired because of the strain on my eyes trying to read those small fonts and half because of the numbness in my fingers due to continuous scrolling.

And that’s what brings me to the second part of the question. What I think will keep me hooked to a "Transformed" T100 when I am on the move. Do I even need to answer that question now? Well, ok, if you say so, I will.

The super cool laptop that would allow me to read and connect with awesome bloggers out there is what would keep me hooked. Its light and handy design being perfect for travelling is what should keep me hooked. Intel Atom quad Core processor and Windows 8.1 to make my work easy is what I think should have me hooked. The relief of not having to check the battery again and again and worrying about its draining is what would keep me hooked.

And the keyboard dock perfectly designed 19 mm travel distance is the icing on the cake since it would allow me doing what I do best - Write. And there is nothing better than writing that can keep me hooked. Oh yeah! And wait, there is a cherry on the cake too. The super sleek eye pleasing design is sure to make heads turn. So I am going to grab on to it even harder.  

I am going to be hooked for sure.  And with those features, who would not be?

This is written for “TIME TO TRANSFORM” contest by ASUS in association with Indiblogger. You can visit them at http://www.asusindia.co.in/T100/

     

Twenty Eight and Single – #ConditionSeriousHai

Today, my poor blog baby is about to witness its first official rant. Rant against some people jinki condition serious hai. My tongue is in a mood to whiplash. And let me tell you, all the characters mentioned here are not fictitious at all and definitely bear resemblance to a person living (who isn’t dead coz I don’t wanna write remaining of my posts on jail walls). So after you read this, if it feels that this post has been directed at you, then you are probably absolutely correct for once. Because, I am directing this at you. Read. Re-read if it doesn’t go in your head and once it goes down, please retreat to the safe chambers of your gossip gang but without the holding the baton against me.  So here it goes.

To my neighborhood aunties and some so-called relatives – inki #ConditionSeriousHai  

Yes, I am twenty eight year old  and still single. Yeah, now keep those eyebrows at their place and close that mouth of yours. My dear neighborhood aunties and relatives, I am so glad that your daughters got married when they were twenty three. Good for them. Good for you too. But that doesn’t decide what age I should be getting married. No. If you think that your daughter getting married earlier than me gives you a right to comment on what should be the right age for a woman to settle down, then let me tell you, ki aapki condition serious hai. By the way kuch lete kyun nai? Like some sense? You know why? Because there is no such right age. Shocking isn’t it? It is, because the right age for me to get married would be when I think I am ready for it. Surprise Surprise. I get to decide that. So now deal with it. And hey by the way, I am just twenty eight and not forty. So get your calculations right. I am really not that old that it should set your panic alarms ringing every time you see me. 

And when you keep on pestering my family about the repercussions of my ‘late’ marriage (which by the way is ‘late’ according to your standards, not mine), your serious condition becomes ever more grave. So, just stop freaking my family out, will ya? 

And your emotional atyachar about what would happen to my younger brothers and sisters if I don’t get married soon literally bores me to death. They are above eighteen and can get married whenever and whoever they want to. Do you think I would have stopped them if they ever wanted to? No. Never. I would be happy if they decide to do it before me. I get another chance to celebrate for them. So before your grave condition becomes even irreversibly damaged, kuch karte kyun nai? Like minding your own business?

And by the way, I just forgot to mention that I am not having an affair anywhere. Oh God, did I just rob you of your topic to bitch on for the next kitty party? Tch.. Tch.. Sorry. But, now since you have the word from me, why don’t you just stop whispering behind my back saying that’s the reason I am not getting married anywhere. And hey, even if that was the case, it is again me who decides when and whom I choose to get married to. Okay. So, let me remind you once again, ke aapki condition seriously very very serious hai. Kuch sochte kyun nai? Like something more meaningful for your own life?

To my dear ‘just’ acquaintances – inki bhi #ConditionSeriousHai

My weekends are very special to me. Because that’s the time when I rewind with friends and family, when I write and when I basically laze around. So, my dear acquaintances, if you believe that hunting a guy for an arranged marriage every weekend counts in my idea of having fun on a weekend, then aapki condition about idea of fun is seriously very serious. 

Remember, I took a few days off last time. I did not go and meet any guy for the arranged marriage set up. No, I did not. Disappointing, isn’t it? It is to me too. When every time I come back from a holiday, the first question that gets directed to me is how was the guy which ‘you’ think I would have gone to meet. And when I say I haven’t taken a leave for that purpose, don’t give me that ‘knowing’ smile of yours. It angers me even more. That plastic smile of mine? That’s not a smile. That’s my way of telling you to just shut up and mull over your own critical condition because my holidays are not reserved to be spent only for husband hunting.

And, when you hear any of my friends getting engaged or married, your question about when am I giving you a chance to feast at my wedding has become such cliché. Hey, you know what, come this Sunday, let me treat you to a hearty lunch at a good restaurant if that’s the only reason why you want to see me married. But next time you throw me this question, I will purposely delete you from my guest list whenever I decide to get married. Because aisi serious condition mein, you shouldn’t go out too often. Tab tak, kuch lete kyun nai? Like a good look at your own affairs.

Dear acquaintances, when you ask me how many guys have I seen (seen as in for the arranged marriage set up) till date for the so-called ‘arranged marriage’ thingy, my answer ‘chal raha hai’ is just a polite way of saying that’s none of your bloody business. So just back off and nurse yourself. Because apki condition na, badi serious hai ji.  

To some ‘friends’ – Yes, inki bhi #ConditionSeriousHai

Read this conversation I had on Facebook chat:

Friend: Hi. How are you?

Me: Hey, M good. Long time. How are you?

Friend: I am fine. Where are you these days?

Me: I am in Ahmedabad itself. How about you?

Friend: Are you married?

Me: Not yet. Happily Single.

Friend: Oh. Why? Why aren’t you married till date?

Me: *No reply*

Friend: Arrey, you should get married by now na. Why are you single?

Me: Coz I am on a mission to save Mother Earth from the impending attack of Mars and the reason I am not getting married is that when I receive a call for performing my divine duty of saving our Mother earth, I shouldn’t be stuck within a pile of utensils to be washed or laundry to be done. J

Friend: *No reply*

Me: You there?

Me (ten minutes later): It was nice talking to you by the way.

Yes, this conversation actually happened with a friend from school who I haven’t seen or talked to since ages. I mean why, just why is my marital status such great concern? And this was not just an off-hand chat that I had. A similar kind happened not once, not twice but thrice. Yes, it did. The only common thing between them being me not knowing those friends too well.

For friends who I have better contact with and who have had such conversations with me, just to let you know that if I steer the conversation into some other direction then that is my way of asking you not to enter into that territory. Please understand. After all, I don’t want ke apki bi condition serious ho jaaye.

Now that all seriously serious people have been warned by me, it’s time for me to hope that they get well soon. And till the time that happens, I am *off to saving Mother Earth from the impending attack from Mars*

This post is exclusively written for ‘#ConditionSeriousHai!’ contest powered by Cadbury 5 Star and Indiblogger. Check out their facebook page here: Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page