A Small Victory

A few days ago, seething with rage, I put up the below status on facebook.

"Sexual harassment at workplace. Heard of it. Read about it. Television, newspapers. But never had I thought that I would learn about it from someone so close. A reputed company. She was told it was employee friendly. Seemed like it. Good work culture. Friendly colleagues. Satisfied with her job. Until recently. When he joined as her boss.

45 year old. Young. Dynamic they called him. Until recently. When he started showing his true colours. An appreciative pat on the back that lingered on the back for more time than necessary. Calling under the pretext of silly excuses like showing him how to mail. Really? How to mail? At such a senior position? Then came the leering. Checking out. Eyes hovering all over the body making you feel disgusted.

But she thought it was only her perception. We women, sometimes even ignoring what is so blatant in our face. What-if-nobody-believes-me fear. "Let me just avoid him. I will avoid going near him' - she reasoned to herself. And then it took no time for his hands to reach inappropriate places. The disgusting smile on his face. 'You should keep your boss happy' - the intention behind this comment I need not elaborate.

She talked around. She was not the only one. Four of them had faced the same. Amusing. Educated women. Independent. Yet kept quiet about this. Well, are they to be blamed ? Finally, they gathered courage to speak to the management. And what does the so-called management do? Ask him point blank if he did all that. Hah!! Who are you fooling? Which goddamn criminal agrees to his crime?

His masterstroke - 'They are like my DAUGHTERS. Wow. Like wow. Where are we safe if you have fathers like these? Weren't these same words said by that man who was recently captured on camera in the aircraft? Similar words. 'Like my daughter.' The words echo in my ears.

He was let off with just a warning. Just a warning for a complaint about harassment by not one, but four women. All four of them have been told to avoid being with him in his cabin. Use common meeting room, they have been asked. Another wow. Reputed private firm. Employee friendly they claim themselves to be. Well, I don't know if safety of women is a part of employee friendliness for them.

While he continues the backhanded comments. He is their boss. Their appraisal in his hands. Two of them planning to leave the job. Strange. Yet true. They are planning to file a written complaint against him to the management. In the hope. That they will be heard this time."

When I put up this status, a lot of friends and acquaintances of facebook messaged me about the incident wanting to know which company was it and what exactly happened. This incident happened with somebody I know very closely and hearing it from her was more than just shocking. I was angry. I sought her permission to put up a status on facebook without her name and any detail. She agreed. A lot of friends asked me to keep them updated on the matter. I closely followed the matter. We tried finding out the laws and I wrote the complaint for them which they submitted in their company.

Initially, the management tried to hush the whole issue. When there was no action taken against the person in a week's time, all the four women resigned. As per the rules, they had to serve a month's notice period which they agreed to serve. And while serving their notice period, they continued their campaign in the company against the culprit and started gathering support. The culprit was now the centre of attraction (ofcourse in a wrong way) in the company. He tried to reason it out to all the women involved saying that his intentions were not wrong and other such blah blah pleading them to take back their resignations or else it would affect his career and that he had people dependent on him and he needed the job etc etc. These women stood firm and were just waiting for their notice period to end, dejected at the way a professional firm had handled such a grave issue.

But then, as they say, sometimes the glitter of hope shines through the thickest of times. While the one month notice period is not over yet, the news is that the culprit has been sacked from the company.

Just when our country is lost in a yet another controversy of 'India's Daughter', when every other day you hear about some or the other case of women abuse, when situation is such that seeing their daughter home safe every evening is a big relief for every parent, when dejection and anger about the current state of women in the country is reaching a yet another peak, this news of the abuser being sacked from his job comes across as a small victory in this fight against women abuse. Somewhere, it makes you realize that if we all learn to stand up against it, if we can gather enough strength to raise our voices, then may be, may be, this country can become a better place to live. The battle is still on and it’s a long way to go still but small victories like this are a flicker of hope that can give strength to carry on the fight. It makes me optimistic and a small voice inside me rejoices this small victory.

 

This is my official post inspired by Housing.com - Look Up.

Beast In The Cage

Assault on a neighborhood woman I hear

Guess I felt rolling down of a painful tear

Beating her almost to the grave

She didn’t bear a son and that meant punishing her with a stave

Husband goes unapologetic about it

She deserved no mercy he says with full grit

Six days and she is still unconscious

My heart cries for his behavior so obnoxious

Triggers something within the soul

The world about this ghastly act needs to be told

His should not be an easy exit

Cage is the only place where such beasts should exist

Double spaced, list of all his horrid deeds I type so furiously

It goes into next day’s newspaper, I now wait anxiously

Fuels a reaction I didn’t not expect

Better medical services now she would get

The beast is well within the cage

Our small town for such inhumanly act now writhes with rage

Hope the rage within the country spreads like wildfire

And such monsters face consequences always so dire

This post is written for Sunday Whirl, Wordle 150 where the words shown in the above picture have to be used in the post.

Gift wrapping a Future Country for my Child !!

I am just another citizen of this country. Yes, the kind who sees the sorry state of affairs of this land, cribs about it, laments at the condition and may be even write about it at times ranting about the happenings around. And just like my fellow Indians, I am cynical. I am cynical about the future of this country. I too worry at times about where would all this stop and how far could the condition deteriorate more.

But, yes, I do dream. Dream about positives. Dream about things getting better. Sensing hope with change in some political movements happening in the country. Feel proud when ‘mango people’ get acknowledged for their efforts.

And one of the dreams of this just another citizen of this country is a dream where some small changes happening in the country, may be, may be would lead to bigger modifications being brought in the political, economic and social  scenario of my country. May be we could be living in a better place.

A country which has fought its battles, a country which has at times been wounded, at times even lost but gradually it has become a country which has not only survived but also emerged victorious defeating the very enemies of its existence. It is such a country that I would want to gift to my child for his/her secure future.

A country free from clichés of Gender based roles: No matter how modern this country grows, no matter how much development takes place, the clichés of gender based roles still remain. It was the same when my mother was a child, it was the same when I was a child. But I hope, whenever my child comes to this world, the situation would have bettered. I wish I could gift my child a country where gender parity exists. I wish my child would not be judged on the basis of his/her sex but on the basis of his/her capabilities as a person. I wish my daughter would be able to guilt-freely handle her multinational company position and my son would not be critiqued as being hen-pecked for helping his wife in the kitchen. Ah, I so wish.

A country which is a Safe Haven: As I told you earlier, yes I have ranted about it before on this blog. But trust me, even writing about the current safety conditions of women in the country seems to be such a mocking exercise at our own self. It’s as if we have become so accustomed to hearing about these incidents these days that any new incident hardly hogs some corner space in newspapers and some quick rumbling by news anchors, leave aside the possibility of it creating some stir within our souls. I sincerely wish my child doesn’t have to see or go through this phase. I wish I could gift my child a country where safety is not a luxury available to few. I wish my girl would never have to worry about her safety while moving to another city or while coming back from her office late at night. I wish my son takes the safety of women around him as his own moral responsibility. I wish just like my wishes for my children, others too would have wished the same and would have molded their children accordingly. I so wish.

A country free from Pollution and Adulteration: Yes we all know about the effect pollution has on us. Yes it is dangerous. But, hazards of industrial pollution? What about the threat the improperly disposed bio-medical waste poses for your health? You don’t even have an ounce of idea about the ghastly effect the pollutants being emitted from those factories have on your body systems. And adulteration. The shocking truths rather not be told here. Because I know, you have read about it earlier, here and there. Because I know you would skim through this paragraph if I rant about it more. But being a part of machinery that deals with these day in and day out as a part of my job makes me worry more. And hence, I wish I could gift my child a country which has its pollution checks under control and adulteration be a word unheard of. I wish my child doesn’t have to inhale those hazardous emissions and would be able to have food that doesn’t reek of adulteration. Yes, I so wish.  

A country sans the Scams: I know I know looking at the current scenario, it seems impossible. I know there are thousands, big and small ones, going on right this very minute. But still I wish. I wish I could gift my child a country free of scams and corruption. I wish he reads about the gory details of scams and corruption in history books. I wish my child is able to trust the people who run his country and believes that they are doing his good and not only their own. I pray that he isn’t cynical like me about the future of the nation and has the flame of hope about the bright future of the nation always alive within him. Oh yes, I so wish.

A country discriminative against Discriminators: Discrimination on the basis of religion as well as promoting people from your own caste, we have seen it all. Communal lobbies exist in all walks of life, be it society, politics or your work life. I wish my child never sees them, rest alone faces them. I wish I could gift my child a country where he is judged, promoted or otherwise only and only on the basis of his mettle as a person and not just because he belongs or doesn’t belong to a particular section of society. I wish I could gift him a country where he is never asked to quote his surname for showcasing his abilities. Yep, I so so wish.

So, these are few wishful wishes for the secure future of my future child. They are here because I believe that if my country’s future is safe, my child’s future would be secured too.

This post is a part of the 1001 Gifts Activity by HDFC Life in association with BlogAdda.

It's all about being Smart !!

[ This post is one of the top 15 posts chosen by BlogAdda for the Contest. Details here.)

Sad it is. But it’s a truth too - that we live in a country that wakes up to the news about women harassment and problems day in and day out. And even after all the uproar, all the rallies, all the candle light marches, every single day something or the other happening in the country makes your skin crawl.

Somewhere a woman is raped, somewhere else a child is brutally killed after the animalism on it, somewhere a woman hears catcalls behind her, somewhere a woman has to keep adjusting her dupatta to avoid filthy gaze of men around and everywhere these women harbor fear in their hearts. As a woman, it feels like loss of my right to live without any kind of fear. Yes, my very fundamental right of being a human being seems to be at a loss.

I stay in Ahmedabad. Thankfully, I haven’t come across any unfortunate incident myself, but who hasn’t heard about them. After all, considering today’s circumstances, no place in the country seems to be a safe haven for women.

So what do we do? Stop going out and stay within the confines of our homes. But then, is safety guaranteed within our own homes? I guess not. I told you. It’s the loss of my fundamental right of living without fear. But, haven’t you heard, ‘Change starts from within.’ It sure does. If nobody helps, can we ourselves not help ourselves? Can we not stand for ourselves? Can we not take our steps? We can. So, given below are some safety tips I can hand around to my fellow Ahmedabad women. But, I guess, looking to the situation this country is in, any safety tip handed down could work anywhere.

Creatively pursuing, I am putting down the list of smart tips (in no particular order of importance) starting with the letters of my city - Ahmedabad. I know you would have noticed, but why take chances ;)

Ahmedabad	Alertness always works
AHmedabad	Hold Hands
AhMedabad	Make smart choices
AhmEdabad	Educate
AhmeDabad	Decode the surroundings
AhmedAbad	Access to Safety devices
AhmedaBad	Being brave
AhmedabAd	Activate those vocal chords
AhmedabaD	Do not be a show-off

A – Alertness always works

Remember, the times when your mom told you to be alert all the time when you were young. Ladies, this works even today. May be more now. So whether you are hopping on a rick during late nights or just walking down the road, let those grey cells be active always. Nobody, but you can sense the danger first. We are great with sixth sense, remember? Trust it. I know, Ahmedabad isn’t a place to be worried all the time, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

H – Hold Hands

I do not mean literally holding hands.. jeezz.. By holding hands, I mean ‘Support’. Yes, support fellow women when they are in trouble. Meekness doesn’t work in today’s times. So next time, you see a woman being troubled by some miscreant or an autowalla haggling with some girl in distasteful manner, go stand by her, fight him along with her. Atleast make a call to the police if matters run out of hand. Chances are that others would join in as well. I know people of Ahmedabad are very helpful of women in such times. They would join for sure.

If this helping others keeps on happening time and again, I don’t think determination of a handful of dirty minded can last against the goodwill of thousands.  

M – Make smart choices

I know we are smart ;) but how about having some smart gadgets on our smart phones installed. Something like Smart Suraksha App that could be used so easily and effectively.

Now, Google has done a great service to womankind by inventing Google maps. Use them when you are travelling to a new place. Don’t just sit inside a taxi and let them take you for a ride. Ask the driver to take a particular route seeing the map just to let them know you are well equipped.

How about keeping the phone numbers of some key people on speed dials? I know we all have them, but in times of urgency, these things tend to slip out. Just thought of reminding!

And yes, do not forget to keep ICE numbers. Don’t know what’s ICE numbers? ICE stands for ‘In case of Emergency’. Just store a few important contacts beginning with ICE. May be having ICE numbers is not a very popular phenomenon, but, God forbid, if anything untoward happens, atleast the people who would know about ICE can inform about your condition to right people.

E – Educate

Yes Girls, education is the key in here too. Seems education is the key to everything ;) So, anyways, by education here I mean, making women around you aware of the possible dangers and ways to fight them off. (You are free to read these tips out to them. I know, I know its shameless self-promotion, but couldn’t help it)

And by women, I don’t just mean the women in your family. That young girl who comes to clean your house, your watchman’s daughter and even your regular sabziwali gets counted too. Of course, we would tell our daughters to be safe and teach them ways for it, but what about those unprivileged who haven’t been taught by anyone from their families. Don’t forget them. Hand them some safety tips too. They might in turn share your tips with their friends in villages or small towns from where they come. I bet you would be doing some a lot of good ;)

D – Decode the surroundings

If you are going to the parking lot of those malls alone, make sure, you are not distracted by your phone while walking down. Check your car before entering it. And once you are inside, drive off immediately. You can check your make up in the mirror later. Some such practical tips can help ward off potential danger.

I am sure you would have heard about letting your whereabouts know to your family on the phone once you get inside a cab or autorickshaw so that the driver wouldn’t play around. You might as well be doing that. But at times, in a huff-puff we might forget using a language that the driver should be able to understand.

Don’t just rattle away in your crisp English accent or your mother tongue about your whereabouts. Use a language you know the local driver should understand. If you are travelling out of town and you are not sure, ask the driver himself what place exactly you are and then speak it in the phone. 

A – Access to Safety devices

I know that you all know about carrying a bottle of pepper spray or a deodorant or a small Swiss knife so they could become our guardian angels in distressing times.

But, there’s a catch in here. As our trademark trait, we carry huge bags where things once lost can hardly be found. I know, I know, we can’t change that. But having such devices in our loving bags and not being able to find them on right times would be so unfortunate. Isn’t it? So, the least we can do is keep these safety devices in some small pocket of our bags which can be easily accessible. One small crevice in that large bag which should not be stuffed with anything else except for that life savior instrument. Not a big price to pay. Right, girls?

And yes, I saw a video of a campaign called ‘Seeti bajao’ under which women carry a whistle which can be used to drive off those hooligans. Seems so effective, isn’t it? But remember, the golden rule – keep it accessible. How about keeping that small whistle in your jeans pocket? If your purse gets snatched off, atleast you would have the whistle to alert people around.  

B – Being brave

At times when we actually need it, all the bravery and other such blah blah inside us goes into hiding in the Himalayas. Natural it is. But if we stuff the positivity and bravery inside our minds, possibility is that it won’t ditch you last minute.

Train your brain to act quickly under not-so-easy circumstances. Cook up some harsh incidents inside your brain and also plan a way out the mess. I know this sounds like a crazy advice but trust me, it works. It works when needed.

How about learning a few tricks of self-defense? May be master a kick or two to be used in case of emergencies! Atleast a basic course could help the grown-ups if you are not prepared to take a full-fledged one.

And for your little princesses, it wouldn’t hurt to enroll them for learning karate along with those salsa classes, won’t it? After all, it isn’t a bad idea to teach our princesses to be warriors when needed.   

A – Activate those vocal chords

Yes, girls, shout out loud. The moment you sense danger, use those vocal chords to the maximum. If you are being harassed in any way, raise your voices, literally. Raised voices deter the confidence of miscreants.  

D – Do not be a show-off

I know Ahmedabad is running the race for becoming a buzzing, happening city. People are changing. We are changing. All good. But in this race, we might be inviting troubles. How about keeping that bragging about all the shopping you did at the new AlphaOne mall or the pricey food you enjoyed at The Grand Bhagwati all by yourself atleast when you are taking a cab or any public transport? How about keeping heavy cash and valuables out of sight from maids, drivers or such other people? I am not saying they can’t be trusted. They can. But why lure troubles? Why take chances? So isn’t it sensible to be sensible and not be a show-off?  

Okay, so these were nine safety tips I could connect. And coming to the last but not the least, all I would say is:

Life is too short to experience everything yourself. So learn from experiences of others. (I am not being philosophical suddenly) What I mean is that there are so bloody many instances happening around us; don’t turn a blind eye to them thinking they can’t happen to you in a city like Ahmedabad. Accept the fact that misfortunes can hit any shores. Even ours. From every instance you read or hear about, don’t just whine over the situation. Try to gauge the nuances of the smartness that might have avoided any unfortunate incident that happened to others. Learn.

After all, it’s all about being Smart, isn’t it? ;)

P.S. - I am sharing my Smart Suraksha Tips at BlogAdda.com in association with Smart Suraksha App.

Dreaded Delhi Trip !!

BlogAdda's Tangy Tuesday Picks

I have been asked by my organization to attend a meeting which is to be held in Delhi. Delhi !! Yes, Delhi.. dreaded Delhi.. I had been there for the same meeting last year in March. But this year, things are different.

Image Source: Google

Because between March last year and September this year, there was a month called December 2012. And in that December, there was a date - 16^th December. The unfortunate date. Yes, I think you now know why am I dreading Delhi? Why is my family dreading to send me to Delhi. Their concerns are well placed. After all its Delhi :0 Delhiiiii.. The dreaded Delhi..

And guess what’s icing on the cake? I just saw an episode of Crime Patrol showing the same unfortunate incident. My skin crawled on seeing the cruelty inflicted on Nirbhaya. (May her soul rest in peace!) My eyes were filled with tears. My mum cried too.

And fear? Fear raised its ugly hood throwing some real ugly doubts towards me. This is the conversation I had with it:

Fear:	So, you are going to Delhi, haan?
Me (meekly):	Yes I am.
Fear:	Ahaan, Did you just not see the Nirbhaya incident. Who would have thought about such an incident happening. You think you would be safe in DELHI?
Me:	I guess, I should be fine. I just have a day trip and I would be back by evening. It’s not that I am going to stay there or something. I hardly have to spend some 5-6 hours out of which most of them would be in the meeting.
Fear:	Ok. And what about travelling? I think you just saw what happened to the girl during travel.
Me:	Oh Shut up. And stop being unreasonable. That happened during night time. I told you I am going to be there during the day. In Broad Daylight, do you get me?
Fear:	But who said, incidents don’t happen during Broad Daylight? Haven’t you read about them?
Me:	Yes I have read about them.
Fear:	So?
Me:	So what? What do you mean to say?
Fear:	I just want to say that anything can happen anytime. Have you thought of being ready for any kind of adversity?
Me:	Adversity?? God!!! I am not going on some warfront. I am just going to visit another city and that too in broad daylight. What adversity do you think can I face in that? And what do you mean by ‘being ready’ ?
Fear:	You never know.
Me:	Okay, Okay.. let me think how can I be ‘ready’ for visiting another State, a State which is the Capital of my country ?
‘Fear’ taps her shoes looking at me while I scratch my head about all the articles related to safety of women that I had read after the incident.
Me:	Okay. From whatever little I know about Delhi, I think would take the metro. No private vehicles. I just downloaded that application on my phone which helps detect the location of the woman on just pressing one key and sends the message to her selected contact numbers. I have a swiss knife with me. I will go and buy a bottle of pepper spray tomorrow. I just listed down the number of people I know in Delhi. Very few I know. But can’t create more ‘Delhi’ friends so soon. I guess that’s about it. What else do you think I can do?
Fear:	Just one thing.
Me:	Yeah, tell me now.
Fear:	Don’t go. After all, its DELHI !!!
Me:	Arrgghhh.. Just shut up. Will you???
Fear:	Your wish darling. I was just helping you.
Me:	Why don’t you just disappear?
Fear:	Lolzzz.. How can I ? I have a permanent residence in the minds and hearts of young girls like you, in the hearts of parents of girls, in the hearts of their family members, their friends. I have a permanent space darling. And I have created this space .. (Laughs out devilishly) I have created this space because you live in such a COUNTRY… a Country that has become a mockery of its own existence.
Me:	Oh Shut up.
Fear:	What a strange Country are you living in? I wonder what phase is your country of more than a billion people going through when a woman, an educated woman, an educated working woman is listening to ‘Fear’ before going to another State and that too for a day trip. And that hapless State happens to be the capital of your Country.
Me:	Speechless.
Fear has a devious smile on his face as if mocking my speechlessness.
Me (to myself) in an almost inaudible tone so that ‘Fear’ wouldn’t hear : Dear Delhi, please become a safe one. Not just for me but for every woman out there. And why just Delhi? My Dear India, please eradicate this ‘Fear’ from the hearts and minds of women, their families, their friends. I really want to sing out the following lines to ‘Fear’ loudly in days to come: Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high Where knowledge is free Where the world has not been broken up into fragments By narrow domestic walls Where words come out from the depth of truth Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit Where the mind is led forward by thee Into ever-widening thought and action Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.                                                               -      Rabindranath Tagore