Five Sentence Fiction - Hunger

‘Come on sweetheart, she has been waiting for you since morning and look at you, trying to turn your eyes away from her, trying to run away, I mean what are you even thinking?’

‘I can’t, I just can’t do it however hard she tries to beckon me with that sexy voice of hers. I am not going back to her because I am not falling into her trap again and your trap again.’

‘I am not laying any trap for you and you better get that straight in your head that whatever I ask you to do is for your own benefit.’

‘No, my dear stomach, right now what you are asking me to do is not for my benefit because right now you are not hungry but just plain bored so stop growling since it’s not lunch time yet and I am not going to eat that cookie lying in the drawer however hard you try to persuade me.’

Written for Five Sentence Fiction - Hunger

Truth - 100 words

Since an hour, her mother grumbled something.

‘Why are you grumbling without reasons?’ asked dad.

‘It wasn’t me. You are mistaken. You don’t trust me?’ said dad after hearing mom. 

‘You are lying. Don’t fool me. I know it was you’ she heard her mom say.  

‘I wasn’t even at home. How could I have done this? Ask Neha, she was at home whole day’. dad said

And she realized that she could no longer hide the truth. She had to tell her mother that it was she and not her diabetic dad who had finished entire packet of rasgullas.

This post is written for 100 Words on Saturday by Write Tribe. The prompt was - ‘She realized that she could no longer hide the truth’

Kundli Connections

Kundli (horoscope) - the magical piece of paper that holds the answers to all questions unfathomable to the logical mind of a sane human being. Apart from holding the powers to foresee about how the child would fare in his studies, whether the beta has the yog of flying abroad and how much money would he mint; the kundli becomes the most sacred and sought-after word for Indian parents when it comes to getting their offspring married to complete strangers.

Image courtesy: Google search

After all, when the prospective partners aren’t allowed to talk to each other for more than a few hours, let alone allowing them to date other person, one obviously needs a measuring scale to decide whether this is ‘the stranger’ who you can get your child to spend their life with? Well well, the kundli comes to the rescue. For it is not the likes and dislikes of the children that should help choose their partner, but it is some random planetary position that gets the privilege of deciding whether this is the best dulha (groom) for your rajdulaari (princess) or she is the perfect bahu (daughter-in-law) you are looking for your eklauta beta (only son).

Your khandaani pandit (priest) plays a very important role in this ‘stranger gets married to stranger’ game. For it is him who would after some deep analysis of the rahus and the ketus residing in the kundlis of both the girl and guy, shall he let you know whether she is ‘the stranger’ who would keep your son happy, be a good daughter-in-law bringing in prosperity to your household and who shall also bear you the khandan ka varis.

The zodiacs are matched. Very necessary. For an Arian shall find it hard to get along with a Capricorn and shall be best compatible with a Gemini. The mangaliks are to be set up with fellow mangaliks only. Wait, the ones having shanis would also do at times. The planets and their positions are studied, dashas and mahadashas are calculated, matched and after trying various permutations and combinations of the planetary positions of both the stranger parties, a score is arrived at out of a total 36 points. This score is ‘the’ magical number which would decide whether to go ahead with this particular stranger for your child or not.

Anything below 18 is not acceptable at all and this rishta is to be dismissed off without another thought. Yes, even the planetary positions need a minimum number of passing marks. Well, if the scores stand anything from 25 to 32, then this particular stranger with whom the score has been achieved can be met and then be judged on other parameters.

And Holy Hell, if the score is anything above 32, rounds of gulab jamuns start circulating amongst the families already for this is ‘the’ match that is made in heaven. And come hell or high water, this rishta cannot be refused. Because this is ‘the’ bouy that is supposed to give your daughter all the happiness she deserves in the world and she is ‘the’ sanskari bahu your house would ever get. And making the guy meet the girl and other such unimportant events later, boom.. they are married !!

In this process, one might also come across families that aren’t compatible to yours. And this magical piece of paper called kundli comes in handy for warding off such families. The mother just puts up a sad face and announces with a sigh to the other mother that the kundlis aren’t compatible which is responded by the other party with another sigh and something like ‘it’s all destined’ and other such well-rehearsed lines. Both the parties know the truth, but none utters. After all, it is so rude to say that your beta isn’t earning as much as our daughter. Why say and spoil, when you can blame it all on the kundli?

So you see, things are that simple in our arranged marriage system to decide whether he/she is ‘the one’ or not. Pretty convenient, ain’t it?

This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014 under Non-Themed category. I am doing two posts for this Challenge and Themed posts can be found here.

A Bunch of 55 Fiction

In love with a Blogger:

He:   I like you and I know you don’t. I can’t force you to like me.

She: I hope you understand.

He:   Yeah. But hey, I hope you are not going to blog about this proposal.

She: Nope. I won’t.

Half an hour later

Post Title – The Proposal

*Now, what should be the character’s name?*

****************************************************************************************

The Misunderstanding:

She: Come on, she was not worth your love. Move on buddy. And what is all this shit about not getting married ever? Trust me, if you don’t marry, then an amazing woman shall loose an opportunity to have a superb husband in you.

He:  *Amazing woman? Oh my God, is she talking about herself? *

****************************************************************************************

What are friends for?

Me:        Tomorrow is first exam of our MBA. Its accounts and you are a science                     graduate. Would you pass?

Friend:   Don’t you worry. I am going to score good in this paper too.

Me:         Ok. What is a balance sheet?

Friend:   Balance sheet is where journal entries are made.

Me:         *He is going to fail*  

****************************************************************************************

Destiny?

Jia:     You know I have phobia of doctors. Just tell him that I have fever and                      cough.

Mom:  You can’t take medicines like that every time. And this new doctor doesn’t              prescribe medicines without seeing the patient.

Jia:     Then, I would prefer dying here.

*A year later on a wedding card*

Jia Weds Dr. Sushant

****************************************************************************************

Tit for Tat:

Neha:     That client Rahul is giving me such nightmares with the agreement. He                  just rejects whatever I propose.

Meera:    Forget him. Somebody coming to see you tomorrow for arranged                              marriage thing?

Neha:      I don’t even know who has been called by Mom now?

*Next Day*

"Rahul Malhotra, you are so getting rejected". *Cheshire Cat Grin*

This post is written for the Write Tribe Festival of Words – Day 6 And the theme was 55 Fiction.

Bitching, Literally !!

It's a BlogAdda WOW post

Top Post

Zoey:  Long time, where have you been?

Coco: Ah, don’t ask. It’s been such a long week. The family took me on a holiday with them.

Zoey:  Enjoyed?

Coco: Atleast it was better than making that aunt of theirs babysit me. She doesn’t know a thing, you see. All she keeps on doing is feeding me. I mean for God’s sake, we do not have unlimited spaces in our tummies. Then, she would scrunch her nose when I have an upset stomach. I mean whose fault is that? By the way, how was everything here?

Zoey: Haha, that woman. Oh, Coco, you have missed so much here in the last week.

Coco: Is it? What happened? I am all ears.

Zoey: You remember that hunky dory called Brat we have been eyeing since the family came to stay here last month? I saw him getting all worked up on seeing your next door neighbor. And then, I see both of them together in this park last week. Oh, you won’t believe how they were up to being so cozy away from the glares of their families.  

Coco: Oh my god, is it? Sassy, doesn’t leave anybody, doesn’t she? I mean, just a few days before she was with Bruno from the next lane, isn’t it?

Zoey: Oh yes, you told me about it. By the way, did you see Fluffy recently? The amount of weight he has been putting on is just so oh-my-god!! No wonder, that slim and slender Angie left him.

Coco: What else would she have done? Ah, yes, Angie was flaunting her new diamond studded band.

Zoey: One flaunting bitch, she is. Anyways, leave it. Why should we care about others?

Zoey: Yes, you are right. Let’s just enjoy this warm sunlight.

  

Image Source: Google

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda. The prompt was to write a short story/incident (200-300 words) from an animal’s perspective.

Some things just click with women ;)

I wake up suddenly and find myself immersed in white. I look around. Nobody. I think hard and remember my accident. I get panicky. I search for bruises. None. How could it be?  

Suddenly, I hear giggles. Two girls dressed weirdly walk towards me.

‘Excuse me?’

‘Yes Avinash’ – answers the one with deep blue eyes. I couldn’t help but notice how breathtakingly beautiful she was.

‘Err.. I know it sounds a cliché but main kahan hoon’

‘Heaven’

‘Heav..heaven? Is this some joke? Oh-my-God. Did I die?’

‘Yes. But good deeds have brought you to Heaven.’

Oh, so this is what it comes to. My life. Death. I have questions. But nobody to ask. I don’t know how many days pass by. I don’t even know if they have days in heaven. Slowly death sinks in. Heavenly routine of basking in pleasures sets in.

I notice the blue-eyed girl everyday. My manly instincts tell me she is interested too. But whenever I approach her, she vanishes. Determined, I stop her one day. She seems frightened or amused, I don’t know.

‘Err.. I really like you. And something tells me you do too. I know I am being direct but I am already dead so you or nobody can kill me for saying this.’

I try humour.   

‘I hate that smelly stubble of yours. I know I am being direct but even I am already dead so you can’t kill me either.’

There. A faint smile.

So, this stubble kept me away from my probable girlfriend. Err.. do they have girlfriends in heaven? Never mind.

Next day, I see her again. And I could see from sparks over her head that my clean shaven look had bowled her over.

Heaven or Earth. Some things just click with women ;) 

This post is a part of the Protest Against Smelly Stubble Activity in association with BlogAdda.Tagging friends: Ashish Hablani, Sreesha Divakaran, Sindhu Devi K, Sreeja Praveen and The Little Princess   


     You might also like to read other entries for the contest:

1.   Disgusted, I pull away

2.    And there goes the Chance !!

3.   A Soldier’s Hospital Love Story ;)

Musings and Amuzings during a Training !!

Classrooms bring in fond memories, don’t they? Right from fun, to punishments, to teasing, to cheering; everything about classrooms are special. It had been quite some time since I sat inside a classroom and hence when I got this opportunity of

Image courtesy: Google

attending a four-day training programme along with a few other colleagues on project management, I was super excited.

The training programme turned out to be insipid and all I was left to do was observe people and things around which gave birth to this post. So, here is point by point account of what I saw and what my brain thought during this training period.

Day 1: It begins

10:25 am	Reached the venue. Lost the way in the huge building.. Somehow, asking around helps and I reach the training centre on time.. Super excited about the training. Which means being legitimately away from office and office work.. Yipee !!
11:00 am	All the goody goody things are over with the organizers wishing that the program helps us in future and other such blah blah blah…
11:10 am	The customary introductions .. And then the lecturer goes on to announce that the training is for 35 hours which is a compulsory requirement in case one wants to become a certified professional. So far so good.
11:11 am	First bencher asks: “But this training wouldn’t be for 35 hours? If we count 8 hours a day, and given the four days training it would come to 32 hours and not 35 hours.”  What an observation!! We all look at each other in disbelief about the depth of question asked by him. Some suppressed giggles by people around and some disbelief looks later; the lecturer replies to his insightful question – “We can extend a few hours if the training doesn’t get completed on time” The first bencher nods and smiles.  So much for the love of training !!!  :P
12:30 pm	People start shifting in their chairs with pained expressions on their faces due to the continuous blabbering of the lecturer.
12:40 pm	I look at my watch.. Damn it’s just 12:40
12:45 pm	I look at my watch.. Damn it’s just 12:45 ??? Is my watch working ..?
12:48 pm	Another first bencher has given a few examples about his software atleast fifteen times by now. Okay, so he is one of those teacher’s pets types. The kind I am totally allergic to.. Puke.
2:00 pm	Yay.. Lunch time.. Everybody shares their mutual pain of sitting through the boring lecture and those super uncomfortable chairs
3:30 pm	While I drift off into my own world, I ask myself - What can be the new things I can write about in my blog ?? Some 3,489 ideas later I stumble upon this stupendofantabulouslyfastasmagoricallymagical idea of writing a post on my thoughts during this training itself.. Me! Little genius ;)
3:45 pm	The Software guy is on the roll.. He throws his examples at every instance possible.. Puke Puke
5:55 pm	Yay!! Yay!! Yay!!  Baji bell aur ho gayi chhutti…

Day 2: Torture on the roll

11:00 am	We have a pretty girl in the class.. This time she sits right opposite to me.. I notice her and then I notice who else is noticing her.. A few people seem to be stealing glances. Ahem Ahem ;)
11:05 am	Yawn Yawn.. Counting the number of people yawning away to glory… It’s 5,678 times that the phenomenon called yawning has occurred in this drab room full of people uninterested in listening to somebody who is speaking something about something K
12:30 pm	I throw dirty looks at the person who keeps on asking unnecessary questions again and again and again..
12:40 pm	Words such as ‘iterative process’, and ‘critical path’ fall on my eardrums and I nod at the lecturer as if I am listening to things intently..
12:45 pm	Can I throw a water bottle or some heavy piece of furniture at the person who keeps on giving his software examples again and again?
1:15 pm	Can I kill myself with the stationery? Or better, kill the lecturer..
1:20 pm	Whatapp and FB come to rescue.. Somebody already updated their status as ‘Bored’ - ‘Same here’ I say to myself.
2:45 pm	I try not to fall asleep by keeping my eyes wide open.. Observe observe, I say to myself.. And I observe the oh-not-so-good fashion sense, the pale white colour of the walls, the chipped nail paint of the pretty girl, another girl trying to eat a chocolate clandestinely and a sea of blank and emotionless faces..
2:55 pm	I throw words such as ‘change of law’, ‘technological upgradation’ and ‘cost overshooting’ at the lecturer just to let her know I am around :P
4:21  pm	Wondering why can’t some hurricane named ‘Bipasha’ or ‘Kareena’ hit the city here so that electricity goes off !!
4:22 pm	My colleague asks the person serving tea if he could have two for himself.. See, there are others as well who are finding it difficult to stay awake, not just me :P
4:25 pm	One of the persons has at last dozed off.. literally and the pretty girl makes signs for showing it to me.. I continue the trend and notify my colleague about the same.. We stare at him, smile and continue the trend of notifying others
4:35 pm	I remember a joke about lecturers which said that they have a bad habit of speaking when others are sleeping.. Seems true here as well
5:55 pm	She mumbles something about time management.. Probably unaware that she had already overshot her time of finishing her lecture.. Day 3: Heights of Boredom

11:00 am	Why is the hurricane not hitting this place, I wonder?
12:45 pm	Urghhh.. these uncomfortable chairs.. every few minutes people try and shift in their places to make themselves comfortable.. But these chairs seems to be designed to make humans uncomfortable :P
12:52 pm	The lecturer speaks about some output process.. My phone beeps. It reads: “Output here is boredom and we are supposed to prepare boredom management plan”  I chuckle at the cost of being caught !!
1:30 pm	I notice that the software example guy is silent today. He seems to have run out of his examples too!! Thank Heavens for that.
3: 00 pm	I am on self imposed ‘shut up’ spree today.. Not a word spoken in class.. Don’t wanna sound too intelligent you see, people around might get complex :P
3:15 pm	A thick layer of boredom has settled on the entire class.. No moving, no shuffling in their places.. Eerie silence except for the sound of the lecturer’s mumblings
3:45 pm	If the hurricane is not finding its way here, can I remove that wire of the projector so that the entire thing goes off ?? Na rahega baans na bajegi baansuri !!
4:05 pm	The lecture reads from the slides about quality management. Probably unaware that her quality of keeping the class engaged is not that high. Of course her quality as a ‘Boredom Inducing Machine’ seems to be of ISI grade  :P :P
4:15 pm	The boredom inducing machine (BIM for short) speaks “This activity blah blah blah is the non value adding quality of the project” Her mere reading of the slides is also a non value adding activity to this training programme.. I think !!
4:35 pm	I notice that I am sitting on second row and I might be missing out on all the fun happening at the last benches.. Make a mental note to myself to sit at the last bench tomorrow..
4:46 pm	We are on some risk management thing when my phone vibrates to a new message from the colleague – “Don’t take so much risk that you get exposure towards high sleeping doses” :D Some people have creativity for sure.. I smile sheepishly ...
4:48 pm	Yawn, yawn, yawn.. everybody, everywhere..
4:50 pm	I think I should atleast listen to something from the training. Decide that I would pay attention now for some time.
4:52 pm	Damn. I have the attention span of a two year old… Where is tea ???
5:00 pm	Okay, so I have been reprimanded by BIM for not paying attention.. I try to become smarty pants by asking her some random question but she catches me.. Damn her..
5:15 pm	I receive a message from a colleague : “Risk of this training is that we may not be inclined to take any further trainings J” I want to laugh loudly at this but I make a straight face and stifle a giggle.. no more reprimands required.

         

Day 4: Finally …

10:30 am	My plan of sitting on the last bench is ruined.. Buggers!! All the last benches already taken..
11:15 am	BIM is teaching communication. Probably unaware that her communication skills are right at the bottom of the pit..
11:35 am	I haven’t forgotten yesterday’s reprimand. I listen to BIM but stare blankly as if she is speaking Gothic..
12:05 pm	My spinal cord seems to have frozen.. The uncomfortably designed chairs have been doing their work to the best.
1:00 pm	I think about the feedback form about the BIM to be filled at the end of the training and I smile sheepishly at the thought that it doesn’t look that good for her.  ;) ;)
3:00 pm	Signboard at my brain’s entrance: “Numb. Not able to register anything more”
3:25 pm	One of my colleagues is drawing lotus flowers and some other thoughtful designs on his book and other one is watching a video on his mobile, while I try hard at understanding Gothic :P
4:14 pm	The BIM says she has one last presentation for us which would only require her to read the slides.. Duh !!! Doesn’t she know that’s she has been doing just that since last three days…  Mere reading of the slides.. huh!!
4:37 pm	She has asked the software examples guy to read through some slides.. In between he reads “We BORING” instead of “We bring…” He seems to be reading people’s minds, I guess…Everybody gives everyone a ‘yeah-he-is right’ kinda look..
5:15 pm	YAAYYYY !!! I SURVIVED !!!! J J J

All I can say after all those thoughts is that boring classrooms can bring out the best of people’s creativity in the form of doodles, intricate designs, mind sharpening sudoku exercises, mastering the art of sleeping without snoring and of course, the blog writing skills !!! :P :P