Much more than JUST a number on the weighing scale

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I feel anger rising within me as I write this. And I have a reason. No wait. I don’t have just a reason, I have reasons. I haven’t really ranted on my blog except for a few occasions here. But this rant is much stronger than all my earlier rants because of the way this topic has been attached to me since ‘I don’t know when’. So here we go.

I have always been on the heavier side of the weighing scale all my life. You read it right, all my life. Atleast from the time I remember. But that’s not the point here.

The point here is the general attitude of society towards people on the heavier side of the scale. The attitude where they think it is their birth right to make fun of overweight people. Just like the way, they think it is our moral obligation to be made fun of. The attitude where they think that being on the heavier side of the scale is a sin and hence we deserve to be made fun of. So go ahead, make fun. Because we are like this out of choice and find sheer joy in being overweight. Right? Wrong. I am sorry to break it to you that we hate being your source of free entertainment. And that nobody, just nobody likes to be on the heavier side of the scale, for being mocked for the way our bodies are made differently than yours and for the way our bodies react differently to situations and circumstances. And that when you pass a judgement or make fun of my body, it does not define me, it defines YOU as nothing more than an insensitive buffoon. And everytime I don’t react to your mockery, it is not because I do not have an equally sarcastic and demeaning comment about you, but it is because I do not wish to downgrade myself at your doltish levels.

Right from acquaintances, relatives, friends to colleagues to total strangers, I have been mocked for my body for the number of times I do not even remember with comments as stupid as the fact that I carry huge bags because I need to carry a large lunch box fitting my size. How lame. How stupidly lame. Or wait. There is something even lamer. Like the time when I was running around in the office for getting some work done. And pat comes the comment asking me stop running because the staircase could fall. Right. Coz you see, I weigh equivalent to crane capable of bulldozing an entire building. Wow. Just Wow. This is just the tip of an iceberg of the nasty comments I have heard over the years.

And then there is something equally irksome. The way everybody turns into so-called experts on my body. The way they think they have the right to suggest me remedies to reduce my weight. Because I have no clue how to do it and because I do not know how to handle my body and because they are on the right side of the scale, they obviously have more fitness gyaan than what I have and hence they are obliged to throw their bizarre suggestions for weight loss in my face. As if I am suffering from some terminal illness and they are doing their bit of social service by providing their valuable suggestions.

The more I think about such comments and instances, the more it angers me. Not just because they were said about me but more because of the way our society behaves and general perception of the people towards this topic. The way people have no clue that fat shaming does not motivate anybody to lose weight and that it affects people at much deeper psychological levels than they could ever imagine.   

There was a time when this mockery affected me for days. It affects me. Still. Ofcource not to the extent it used to. Because today I accept myself and my body much more heartily than I used to. And that does not mean I do not work towards making myself more fit. This just means that I accept my curves and my stretch marks much more today than I did earlier.

But not everybody can cope with fat shaming. Even I haven’t learnt to cope with it completely. But then why can't people understand that making fun of people for their overweight body is somewhat equivalent making fun of a blind person? Just like nobody likes to be blind, similarly no one likes being on the heavier side.

I have no clue why our society cannot take a heavier person just like everybody else. Why is there always a need to look down upon me, to mock me or to advise me? Why can't I be taken as just another person? Why can't I be seen more than just a body? Why does every other aspect of my personality hide under the fact that I am overweight?

Because I know that I am much more than JUST a number on the weighing scale.   

Image Source : Google

Chai and Sarkari Babus !!

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I have been working as a Government officer (prefer calling myself a sarkari babu) with the State Government of Gujarat since last four and half years. Along with myriad and interesting experiences, I have found one thing to have a special connection with every Government official across ranks and designations. And that is the humble chai (tea). This humble drink holds a very special place in everyday

Image Courtesy: A sarkari babu friend / colleague

lives of us sarkari babus. In the times of cappuccinos and cafe lattes, green teas and iced teas, the normal chai has not lost its sheen in government offices. Across occasions, instances, moods, celebrations and complaints, the chai remains constant. Let me tell you how.

The productivity of any sarkari babu is directly proportional to the frequency, quality and hotness of the cuppas of chai they are served. Give them more, better and hotter cups - and see the productivity zoom northwards. An office day in the life of a sarkari babu starts with call to the peon to serve chai. (Yes, the peons serve them. Who needs vending machines?) Unless the chai reaches tables of every sarkari babu, the day cannot begin. It is like their kick to kick start the journey of serving fellow Indians in some way or the other. (What, don’t look at me like that, after all we are also known as sarkari naukars.) Mind you, this procedure gets repeated at around 4 pm. And no chai is equal to no mood to work, whether morning or evening.

If a sarkari babu colleague (of equal or higher rank) visits your table/cabin, the first thing that gets done is ringing a bell to the peon to serve tea. If you don’t call for the chai, you either don’t respect them enough to be served tea, you are a miser or you are not on really good terms with them. But wait, even if you are not on good terms with the visiting colleague, you still serve the cuppa. All the office politics and differential views go out of the window when it comes to serving the chai.

This humble chai is also an important instrument of showing and receiving gratitude. You help somebody in their work, support them in finishing an urgent assignment, go out of your call of duty to do anything for anybody even if it is just giving some advice to resolve an issue; you straight away get obligated for being served tea by the one you’ve helped. Instead of saying welcome for the thank you that you receive for being helpful, you say ‘Chai pila dena’ (Serve me tea). Yes, it is that simple in our sarkari world.

Chai comes in picture even in times of distress. You are not happy with a fellow colleague or you want to bitch about them, the first words that any sarkari babu would utter are these, ‘aajtak ek chai bi nai pilai hai muje’ (He has not served me a single cup of tea till date). Yes, the chai is that important in our lives. It also goes the other way round. You are casually talking about somebody’s goodness; the chai makes a visit even here. ‘Oh he is a very good person. Jab bhi jao to chai pilaate hain.’ (He serves tea everytime you go to meet him). Getting the importance of chai in our lives? Wait, let me tell you further.

You may arrange a get-together in the daftar (office) celebrating your promotion or retirement, your child’s first rank or your wife’s birthday; you may serve the best of the snacks available, but if you don’t top it up with a chai for everyone, the party isn’t over. People would wait for the chai to be served. And mind you, if you make them leave without their chai, your party is doomed.

If chai comes in picture at the times of bitching, imagine its importance in terms of friendship. You are frustrated and you visit your sarkari babu friend. The first thing that the sarkari babu would do to soothe your nerves is to serve you a hot cup of chai.

Even the rant of a sarkari babu about heavy work load is not free from the chai. ‘Aaj to itna kaam hai ke chai peene ka bhi time nai mila’ (I am so burdened with work that I have not even had my tea today) If you hear a sarkari babu saying this line, immediately understand that they have been battling with some serious workload. Because, it is only in extreme conditions that a sarkari babu would sacrifice his daily dose of chai.   

A chai is always welcome for a sarkari babu at any time of the day. You have visited a colleague who served you tea. You go to somebody else’s cabin immediately and they serve you tea too. You never refuse. Never.

Whether it’s a board meeting or a client meeting, the chai is served, always. And if you don’t, it’s considered rude. Very rude. Questions are straightaway raised about the financial position of the organization if you don’t serve it. Period.

The connection of the chai and sarkari babus is so deep that even favours (if you know what I mean) are termed as ‘chai paani’ ;) Ooops, should I be saying this? :0

So be it friendship, enmity, happiness, frustration, celebration, praising or bitching - a chai is available for any and every occasion in a sarkari babu’s life. Have you heard that phrase that you never let somebody who comes at your door leave without giving them alms? There is a similar phrase for sarkari offices and babus too. You neither let a sarkari babu go from your office nor are allowed to leave their cabin without exchanging the humble chai ;) It is also said that if you cut a vein of a sarkari babu, there is all the possibility that he shall bleed chai ;)  

Hail Chai and the sarkari babus ;)

This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014 under Non-Themed category. I am doing two posts for this Challenge and Themed posts can be found here.

I Don't Know

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I don’t know if you ever miss me

But I do, every time I breathe

I don’t know if you ever think of me

But I do, every moment I am awake and even in my sleep

I don’t know if my pictures are still with you or you have kept them at bay

But I hold yours every single day

I don’t know if my gifts still you see

But I do, all the days of every week

I don’t know if without me, your life is ever a labyrinth

But mine becomes one, every single month

I don’t know if you would still call me someone dear

But I would, this and every upcoming year

I don’t know if you still love me

But I do with every ounce of life inside me

I don’t know if you would ever be back                                   

But I shall wait for you till infinity !!

Damn you, Cancer

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You eat people from inside

Ironical, even within healthy bodies you thrive

No matter how good they have been

To people around and even from within

Suddenly you surface

Shaking people from their base

Beauty withering

The healthy mane giving way to balding

Soul already shattered and charred

Body losing its sheer strength

What happens to my loved ones, is what they think all day

Why me? is a question that haunts their minds always

Kin’s heart crushed day by day

Helplessness seeing their loved staring at death in the face

Pain, angst, pity and regret

You bring along all before the finale

Robbing them of life

Much before you actually take it away

Damn you, Cancer

Humankind shall win over you one day !!!