Ex - Sarkari Babu

From today onwards, I no longer am the ‘sarkari babu’. A title which I accepted first with reluctance, then with frustration, followed by the understanding of its importance, then with responsibility and finally with a lot of pride.

Even though I come from a family of government officers, I never ever wanted to be one. The idea of going to a same place, doing the same work, meeting the same people everyday never appealed to me. But somehow, I landed one for myself. Within a span of a year, I tried to get out of it. And trust me, I tried really hard.

But as they say, life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. And before I realized, it was around eight years of working in a government office.

They say your first job teaches you the most. I learnt too. I learnt that it is easiest to blame the government when you are on the other side of the table. 

I learnt that it is not that easy for an outsider to understand why things happen in a certain way in a government office. I learnt that being a government officer came with a lot of responsibility towards your country. I learnt that even though you are a smallest part of the government machinery, you can contribute if you want to.

I also learnt that going to a same place everyday could bring a lot of stability. I learnt that doing the same work everyday could become your forte. I learnt that meeting same people everyday could be comforting.

I don’t remember when did I change from being somebody who never wanted to be a government officer to somebody who started defending when people blamed government for everything.

Every workplace has its own pros and cons. This one had too. But as I leave today, I leave with warm friendships, lessons and learnings that will last a lifetime and times that will be etched in memory forever.

~ From an ex - Sarkari babu (Just felt like calling that myself one last time)

The Beauty of Friendship

You hadn’t messaged

I hadn’t too

Because I always called

Never did you

I was supposed to be angry

Behave all haughty

And tell you I am busy

But today when I heard you

Amidst all the noise

It was as if I had no choice

Stories and instances found themselves a voice

Now I am angry with myself

For not showing it to you

And wonder why my anger

Around you takes a dip

But then I guess

That’s what they call

The beauty of friendship

Z - Zap out

She:	Speak
He:	Nothing
She:	You know I never let you go away without saying. I know something is on your mind. So speak now
He:	Hah.. As if I speak everytime
She:	I know, Mr. Silent Crusader. How many times have I told you not to bottle things up inside you. And if you don’t tell me, who are you going to share it with?
He:	Nothing. It’s just… nothing
She:	It's not nothing. There is something on your mind
He:	You really have to hear it in words, isn’t it?
She:	I am a writer. I am in love with words. So yes I need to hear it in words
He:	I don’t want..
She:	Alright. If you don’t want to tell me, then I think I should make a move. As such I have always overestimated my value in your life
He:	Don’t go
She:	People are waiting at home. I need to go
He:	Not this. Don’t go to your new home
She:	What?
He:	Yes. Why do you have to shift? Couldn’t you just find a place nearby? And why so far away?
She:	I am within the city itself. Don’t worry I am not leaving the planet yet ;)
He:	You can't walk in one fine day, become a great friend and just zap out of my life just like that
She:	I am not zapping out of your life. And by the way, even when I was here, we never met everyday.  In fact, we hardly met once a week. We were mostly connected through facebook and phone calls. So, we can do that even when I will be at the new house, right?
He:	I know that. But it was still comforting to know that you were around This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge - 2015

M - Myself

He:	God ! You have so many friends
She:	Err, is there a problem in that?
He:	Not really. Just that, how do get time for yourself amidst all this?
She:	Amidst all this?
He:	You know, meeting so many people. Every now and then I see you with a new set of friends
She:	Well, I love meeting new people
He:	And that's the only reason?
She:	Nope
He:	So what is the real deal?
She:	I have realized that the more people I meet, the more I know myself.
He:	And how is that?
She:	Because by meeting new people, I get to know what kind of a person I want to be. And more importantly, what type of a person I never wish to turn out to be. This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge - 2015

F - Facebook Friends

She:	Why do you sleep so late everyday?
He:	Just like that
She:	And you keep on passing your time on facebook?
He:	Yup
She:	What do you keep on doing there? Doesn’t it get boring after some point.
He:	Well, I talk to people.
She:	Not all facebook friends are 'friends'. I hope you know that.
He:	I know. But it helps me somewhere.
She:	Helps you? In what?
He:	Seeing things through
She:	Explain
He:	Sometimes it’s these random strangers that understand you in a way even your closest aides haven’t been able to. These strangers have the ability to touch your soul deeper than your own blood. Sometimes, these strangers don’t let you down the way people in your life have. It's these strangers that can possibly lift you from the abyss that you keep falling into without any control. You know why?
She:	Why?
He:	Because they show you the mirror you cannot see or don’t want to see. And you know what, you ought to believe them.
She:	But how can you believe them? They don’t even know you.
He:	On the contrary, I believe them precisely because of the same reason.        This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge - 2015

Finding a Friend

Memories. Probably it’s the only word that can mean positive and negative to the same person, often even at the same time. Memories. They can take you at the heights of cherished living and can even push you in the dark abyss of life. Memories. They can be your weakest link and also your biggest strengths. Memories. They have the power to take the reins of life in your own hands and even have the strength to make you miserable enough to ruin your entire existence. Memories. Oh, You memories.

I had started my MBA. It had been two months and I was completely immersed in the hectic schedule of my studies and presentation and assignments and case studies. I had found a group of friends. We studied together and even had good fun. But somehow I felt disconnected from everyone. I was gelling well with other classmates, doing good in my studies but somehow I felt completely lonely. I didn’t really have a confidante in that huge group of friends. Everybody around seemed close yet so distant.  

Exams were nearing and I made it a point to spend few hours in the library. A couple of friends from the group would also accompany me. The day is clearly etched in my mind. It was 18^th of October. After a few hours, one by one all the friends left. It was only me and one other friend that stayed back. We studied for sometime. 

And suddenly he stopped studying and said, ' I know you feel very lonely here. You don’t show but you feel alien amongst the crowd.' I was too stunned to react. 'It's okay to feel that way. I have seen you and the loneliness around you. I don’t know if you consider me worthy enough but in case you ever want to share something with anybody, I am there. And I hope you can trust me. I don’t let my friends down.' he said in one breath. 'How did you know?' was all I could say. 'I just know', he said and smiled. I smiled back. Somehow the smile didn’t feel fake to me that day. Somehow it felt warm and genuine. Concern that didn’t seem fake. Friendship that didn’t seem to be based on mere give and take. Somehow I felt that this friendship will last.

That day, we talked. We talked and talked and talked. Right from subjects that were mundane to the things that were important. I had found a true friend in that library that day. My two years of education seemed like a breeze because of the amazing friend that I found that day. Somehow I will always be thankful for the beautiful friendship and time that I shared with this friend. Because as they say being #together is what matters the most.

This post is inspired by Housing.com - #Together.

Check the official page: https://housing.com/

          

Heaven !!

when they finally met

vodka swam in air

and friendship was poured in

glass after glass 

he the regular

she was a newbie

and nothingness breathed in

with a feeling

of getting drowned

in music

and intoxication too

wrapped in the blanket

of comfort zone

that grew cozier everyday

when their inhibitions

went on a brief holiday

words flew

or maybe not

when stillness

felt like a warm embrace

hours slipped by

in a matter of minutes

and they wished

the night would stop by 

with an unending supply

of alchohol and music

and nothingness to breathe in

and breathe out

because what else would they call?

heaven

if it was not this !