Do You? Ever?

Do you ever think of me when you are just about to close your eyes for the day? Do you sometimes wake up and smile for no reason because you have dreamt of me? dreamt of us? Do I ever cross your mind when you feel that your insides would burst because something burdens it so much that it no longer has the strength to pump life one more time? Does your happiness ever taste bland because you can no longer share it with me?

Do your fingers ever linger at my name in your phone book when you are searching for somebody whose name starts with my initials? Do you sometimes, on an impulse, open the folder containing my pictures in your old laptop and never realize how minutes turn into hours?

Does my absence ever bother when you go on trips alone that were on ‘our’ wishlist? Does your heart ever skip a beat at the prospect of meeting me one more time, even if it is just from far away, even if we would be in a room full of people and we may not even share a single word?

Do you ever try and replay my voice in your head, the way I pronounced your name, the way I called you when I was angry and when I was happy or when I was passionately falling for you? Do you ever recall the way I looked into your eyes while we made love and you kept on asking why did I keep on staring in them? I never told you. All I answered was 'just'. Well, let me tell you today, I searched myself in them.

Do my thoughts ever hauntingly follow you while you are neck deep in most mundane works? Do you ever feel so lonely without me that you wouldn’t mind if you lost your breath right that moment because you just can’t see a point in continuing a life where I am not a part of it?

Do you, atleast in your mind, speak my name, when somebody mentions the word ‘love’? Tell me, do you? Ever? 

Written for Three Word Wednesday Week No. 426

Z - Zap out

She:	Speak
He:	Nothing
She:	You know I never let you go away without saying. I know something is on your mind. So speak now
He:	Hah.. As if I speak everytime
She:	I know, Mr. Silent Crusader. How many times have I told you not to bottle things up inside you. And if you don’t tell me, who are you going to share it with?
He:	Nothing. It’s just… nothing
She:	It's not nothing. There is something on your mind
He:	You really have to hear it in words, isn’t it?
She:	I am a writer. I am in love with words. So yes I need to hear it in words
He:	I don’t want..
She:	Alright. If you don’t want to tell me, then I think I should make a move. As such I have always overestimated my value in your life
He:	Don’t go
She:	People are waiting at home. I need to go
He:	Not this. Don’t go to your new home
She:	What?
He:	Yes. Why do you have to shift? Couldn’t you just find a place nearby? And why so far away?
She:	I am within the city itself. Don’t worry I am not leaving the planet yet ;)
He:	You can't walk in one fine day, become a great friend and just zap out of my life just like that
She:	I am not zapping out of your life. And by the way, even when I was here, we never met everyday.  In fact, we hardly met once a week. We were mostly connected through facebook and phone calls. So, we can do that even when I will be at the new house, right?
He:	I know that. But it was still comforting to know that you were around This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge - 2015

Y - Yours, Just Yours

He:	You know I am angry with you, right?
She:	Yup, I know. I am just unsure of the reason this time
He:	Why can't you be mine, just mine? I don’t really like it when you talk about your other 'guy' friends
She:	Isn't this hypocrisy coming from you who goes around with a new woman every other month?
He:	I know. But you do know that I can be yours, just yours
She:	Just mine?
He:	Just yours. Do you want me to be?
She:	Nope
He:	No??
She:	No. I don’t want you to be just mine. Because you overwhelm me and exhaust me at the same time. You fill me up and empty me - together. I do not want to own you and I want to own you, both at the same time. Because you are to me what poetry is to poets! We poets are obsessed about our poetry. We love it and hate it at the same time. We marvel at it sometimes, and cringe too. We want others to love our poetry, but we also fear thinking we won't be the only one who shall love it. We want to showcase it to the world, flaunt it, make people jealous of it, but we also want to keep it shut inside the corners of our heart not letting people know what we possess. Poetry... you are my poetry This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge - 2015

X - Xyster

She:	When are we meeting?
He:	I don’t know
She:	Let's meet up. It has been a long time, isn’t it?
He:	Will try
She:	Are you ok? You are replying in monosyllables
He:	Yes I am fine
She:	You don’t seem to be
He:	Stop worrying about me
She:	So there is something that I should be worried about?
He:	Don’t over –read into things. It's your habit
She:	I agree worrying about you has become my habit
He:	So don’t. I never asked you to worry about me
She:	Why are you angry with me?
He:	I am not
She:	And I was born yesterday. And pigs can fly. It's visible in your behavior
He:	So you can take the clue and just leave me alone. Yes, I am hurting. Something is wrong inside me. So thank you for your concern but I don’t need it. I don’t need anyone.
She:	You are hurting me with your words
He:	You can take your hurt and get lost
She:	I know you are hurting. But when somebody tries to heal you, you don’t turn your brokenness into a xyster and wound the same person.   Xyster - a surgical instrument for scraping bones This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge - 2015

W - What's your Poison?

He:	I need coffee so badly today
She:	You say that everyday
He:	Yeah. Coz coffee is my poison
She:	Right. The one that you drink to your heart's content and without  any regrets
He:	I know. What's yours by the way?
She:	What?
He:	What's your poison?
She:	The one that slowly eats a part of me everyday
He:	And what's that?
She:	Hope of a future with him that shall never be born
He:	And you don't regret your poison either?
She:	Nope. Because some poisons are your panacea to survive This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge - 2015