I saw this image on instagram some
months ago and my perspective towards individuals changed. I stopped myself in
the middle of every conversation I was having in my mind about any person
or situation and said just this one line to myself. – “You don't know his/her
story. Why judge. Who knows what is making them do what they are doing or the
way they are.” And that stopped every judgmental thought that came to my mind.
Although, my behaviour never reflects
my thoughts for the person or situation, like everyone else, I have erred many
times. I still do. But now, I catch my thought process and stop my thoughts in
the bud about people, about situations. It is exhilarating in some ways, seeing
yourself free away from the clutches of your ‘sometimes’ judgmental self.
But there is one person I cannot spare
judgement on. There in one person who I judge the harshest, who I question the
most, who I criticize the worst. I don't cut this person any slack, any time.
Although, I know, I shouldn't. Although I know this person gets affected the
most by my words and yet, yet I do not relent. I do not give up any opportunity
for being anything but cruel to this person. And guess what, I know this
person's entire story. I know the circumstances, the weaknesses, the struggle,
the effort and yet I am hard. And these talks of 'Stop it, you actually know
this person's story' do not work.
And after I am done, what remains is an
ashen bitterness in my mouth that rises from the gut and thoughts that feel
toxic, as if they are covering my entire body.
That person is ME. And all the pages
about self-love, quotes about not being hard on yourself, posts saying that you
are doing good today - do not work. They just don't. Out of all the love I have inside me
for all the people I love in this world, I cannot spare any for this
person.
