Sunday 28 August 2016

Terrible to be me

It has rained since morning. Or probably since last night. I woke up to a hazy Sunday afternoon. Distilled and quiet. The balcony is inviting. Shades of green around. My morning (afternoon?) cuppa beside me. I sit with a book, losing my sense of time. Glancing up occasionally at the beauty that only the combination of rain and silence can bring. The contradiction and yet the truth of this.

I choke almost. At something rising within my chest. A longing. A memory so fierce. For someone. Someone familiar? Maybe. Maybe not. Of wrapped arms and intertwined fingers. Of disillusioned realities and opaque dreams.
A longing that could pin you down for hours, or is it days? Who knows. I have already lost my sense of time, remember? Smoked out my rationality. The kind that brings a twinkle in your eyes so bright it could make the stars looks bland. All you hear is silence and your heartbeats. So loud that you fear he can hear them from where he is. Far far away from you. In every sense of the word.
And then maybe he would know what it is like to be me. But let me tell you darling. It is terrible, terrible to be me.


Monday 15 August 2016

Cigarette Memories






Night sky burning with my vulnerabilities
I see my being rising up in flares
Slow at first
And then it sets ablaze
As I inhale 
Your words that meant a lot
And my naivety as an afterthought

The smoke of our moments inside my mouth
I clench them together
Till my eyes begin to sting
And mist begins to form in their crevice
As I try, I try
To imprison the hazy memories inside my lungs
They smolder me incapable
To breathe, to exist

A bond that ‘once’ was
Begins to seethe
And I choke on my gullibility
And your latent abilities

While I finally release you from me
Trailing behind is the ashen taste
Of bluntness that could nip associations

A bond that was envy of the town
Which now
Has slowly died a slow death

How I wish
Terminal worries too could be exhaled in thin air
Right there one moment
Becoming invisible the next one

A bond that was an intoxication
Left behind a bitter aftertaste
That scuffled with other senses
Blinding, effacing, burning
A ‘me’ a ‘you’ and maybe an ‘us’ too!

Sunday 7 August 2016

And the sky bled purple

And the sky bled purple like her heart. Probably it weighed like her heart too. Maybe the sky was attached to earth. Somewhere, maybe, they mirrored each other. Somewhere, far away, in the corners of earth and near the expanse of the sky, they were alike. Maybe they were cold and withdrawn on the outside but warm in their insides. May be they were a collection of pieces from the same broken vase. Scattered far away from each other but they knew their connection. Maybe her heart was the sky. Scattered and shattered but was aware of its connections.

P.S. – The pictures above were clicked by me a few days ago. They are a bit hazy and do no justice to the breathtakingly beautiful riot of colours that day coz they have been clicked from my stupid phone camera.
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