World upside down

I remember that day clearly. The day my world went upside down. It was around 8 in the evening. Sunaina, my wife was on her way back home. She had been a little late from office due to March coming to a close. The weather was getting hotter. Slowly, the weather Gods would be increasing their wrath, as if testing people’s patience or punishing them for their past life’s crimes. I had reached home on time and served myself a couple of glasses of fresh lime juice. The sugary sweet taste of fresh lime juice was a perfect anecdote for the weather. Meanwhile, waiting for my wife, I had cut vegetables and soaked rice. Tonight, we had planned on having biryani. I loved devouring my wife’s biryani. Not just biryani, I loved everything she cooked. My stomach churned a little and I helped myself to a few pieces of cake she had baked a couple of days ago. I left last two pieces as post dinner dessert.

Little did I know my world was about to go upside down in a few minutes. Little did I know that I wouldn’t be able to have my last piece of cake. Little did I know that I would not be able to have my wife’s biryani that day. Little did I know that my wife would come home with a doctor’s report making me a diabetic and snatching me away from the true love of my life – sweets.  

Day 2 - Picture prompt

‘I’m Writing Bravely for the Write Tribe Festival of Words – March 2019’

A Special Bond

Our flight has been delayed by three hours and we are stuck at Mumbai airport. How strange it feels calling him and me as ‘we’. He has dozed off at the nearby seat. I stare at his face for a long time. Never have I stared at him for so long, so closely. Never had I in my wildest dreams thought that I would be married to him. Not when I had met him briefly five years ago, not while on that trip with the group, not while talking to him on phone when he was crying on the other end and neither while sobbing profusely when he was consoling me.

But nobody ever said life would be predictable. And thus, we are a married couple now. A newly married couple. An inter-caste marriage for which we fought with our parents and coaxed them for months until we were finally successful. But you know what’s strange? That I convinced my parents to allow me to get married to a guy I do not love. Yes, I do not love him. And I know that he doesn’t either.

You would be wondering that if we didn’t love each other, then why on earth were we married. And it was not the typical arranged marriage. We had fought for being with each other. Yes, I would prefer calling it ‘being with each other’ rather than ‘love’.

Because ‘love’ was a feeling that I felt for just one person! The only person who I still call ‘mine’! The only person whose name still brings smile to my lips! Piyush. The person who taught me what love meant. But Piyush is no longer with me today. Though his memories are still afresh as dew within me! We were together for five years. Five blissful years! It was probably during our third year of togetherness that I came to know about Vikram, the person who I now call my husband. But at that time, he dated my best friend Riddhima. He stayed in another city and I heard of him briefly from Riddhima. We also had a couple of meetings formally where I met him along with Piyush.

A few twists and turns later, both of us had been torn apart from our respective lovers – first it was Vikram because Riddima’s parents didn’t approve of him, and then me. And I don’t even know till date why Piyush broke up with me.

Both of us knew about the times we were going through and called each other up a few times. Especially, when we were tired of holding ourselves in front of the world and needed a place where we didn’t have to pretend to have moved on, when we needed a place where we could cry for hours at a stretch cursing life for taking away the persons we loved so dearly from our lives. We talked and talked, each narrating his/her love story to the other. We told each other how much we loved and how badly we missed the love of our lives. We shared the happiest moments about our love lives, or rather our past love lives. We sometimes fought about whose love had been greater. Silly us! We shared similar thoughts about our inability to fall in love with anybody else ever again. Both of us knew we would never be able to love our future partners the way we loved our past.

It was during one such conversation where I cursed societal pressure of getting married, that he suggested about getting married to each other. 'Atleast that way, we wouldn’t have to bear the pressure of cheating our future partners or of trying to fake our love for somebody' - he had said. I laughed at the suggestion at that time. But somewhere it struck a chord within me.

I talked to Vikram later asking if he was serious. He was. We gave it a thought for few more days. And we found that it was the best possible alternative for our aching hearts. We could speak to each other for hours about our pasts because both of us knew that the other person would listen and comfort rather than judge. We knew that none of us needed love of any other person because we were happy reveling in the love and time we spent with our past. And that was the reason why we married each other.

My bag today still carries all the photographs, gifts and memorabilia from Piyush and Vikram still has everything he shared with Riddhima.

It’s been almost a year since we have been talking to each other. And during this entire year, there hasn’t been a day when our aching hearts have stopped aching or our memories have stranded us of our past. We have taken the constant hollow pain, that emptiness as a part of ourselves now.

The only comfort for both of us is that there is one more person who is sharing this void and that’s what makes this bond special. A bond of sharing emptiness, broken hearts and bleeding tears, a bond of cursing fates and hating society and a bond tied to pasts and uncaring of futures!

Written for Write...Edit...Publish. Theme of the month - Romance

Truth - 100 words

Since an hour, her mother grumbled something.

‘Why are you grumbling without reasons?’ asked dad.

‘It wasn’t me. You are mistaken. You don’t trust me?’ said dad after hearing mom. 

‘You are lying. Don’t fool me. I know it was you’ she heard her mom say.  

‘I wasn’t even at home. How could I have done this? Ask Neha, she was at home whole day’. dad said

And she realized that she could no longer hide the truth. She had to tell her mother that it was she and not her diabetic dad who had finished entire packet of rasgullas.

This post is written for 100 Words on Saturday by Write Tribe. The prompt was - ‘She realized that she could no longer hide the truth’

Trustworthy and Torn : Haiku

Trustworthy

claims tall every time

change they shall bring for all

country, emptied of trust

Torn

one gave life

life partner other, differences amongst

torn poor me

This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014. I am doing two posts for every alphabet. The Non-themed posts can be found here.

Also, linking the first haiku with Haiku Horizons Week 9. The prompt - ‘Empty’

Quarantined

BlogAdda's Tangy Tuesday 

   




Shattered in pain, crying her insides out. No words can define her situation. Lost. She lost a part of her existence already. Her soulmate, her husband. The society is around. To take care of the necessities, the rituals. 

After he leaves, bathe her. Bathe her out in the open. Clothes. Colourless for her from now on. She doesn’t deserve colours in her life anymore. Her husband brought colours to her life. No him, no colours. Widow. They call her, right in her face. Cursed she is now. Cursed for life.

Quarantine her. For she is not a suhaagan anymore. Quarantine her like those diseased cattle. For her touch is not auspicious any longer. You talk about touch? Even her presence is inauspicious. Unwanted, to be precise. As if the death of her husband is not enough of a loss for her, she needs to be reminded all the time that she is cursed, cursed for life.

But, we are modern people now. We allow her to wear colours. Yes, ‘allow’ her. Allow her shades of light pinks, light blues, pale yellows and peaches. That’s it. No reds, greens and maroons can adorn her anymore. Nope. She doesn’t need them.

You allow her to live a normal life. Hah, ‘allow’ again. For she now needs permissions. Of those elder women - the ones who have gone through similar fates. Permissions - of the caretakers of culture, caretakers of society. She needs permissions for conducting some simple routines of life. 

But, we are modern people, you know. Ofcourse, she can be a part of ‘normal’ ladies group now that you have ‘allowed’ her. But, you cannot talk about your husbands in front of her. She can get jealous. I mean, who knows, maybe she might just want to rob you of all your happiness out of jealously and curse you of the same fate. You know, curses of ‘such kind’ of people affect you sooner. So again you quarantine certain topics in front of her. Topics of husbands. Of happiness. Of anything that ‘you’ think that she can never ‘enjoy’ now that she is a widow.

Marriages. She shouldn’t be attending them. How can she? Marriages are a celebration. How can she be a part of any celebration? She lost her right to celebrate after her husband, didn’t she? But again, as I told you, we are modern people. Call her, atleast as a formality. She wouldn’t dare to come. But if she disappoints you, you need to show her ‘her’ place. Remind her. Remind her that she is the cursed one. Keep her away as much as possible from any auspicious ceremony. She cannot handle the shagun ki thali nor touch the shagun ki mehndi. Quarantine her again. For apshakun she is. Evil eyed. Make her feel like an outcast. She should know that she is different. Not normal. Cursed.  

Her daughter’s marriage. Her daughter - her only reason for existence. Arey, we are modern people. She ofcourse will be part of her daughter’s wedding. But. You cannot let her do the kanyadaan. No. She is her daughter, so what? Her curse might fall on her own daughter. The girl is starting a new life. How can her mother’s apshakun be a part of her new life? Quarantine her of that dream too, the one she saw with her husband. Of getting her daughter married to handsome man. After all, she is cursed, isn’t she?

No, we are not robbing her of everything, you see. She can do something without any guilt. Like praying. Yes, that is the only righteous thing she can do after her husband. Pray hard. So that the sins of this life don’t affect her next life. As such she is suffering by being a widow in her present birth because of her past life sins.

Widow. You use that word for her as if she is diseased. Diseased. Yes. Not her. But You. It’s you that needs to be quarantined of your baseless beliefs; not her right to live a normal happy life. May be, just may be then, you can call yourself a modern society.  

This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014 under Non-Themed category. I am doing two posts for this Challenge and Themed posts can be found here.

Qualified and Quelled

Qualified

fair, beautiful, tall

convent educated, cooks well

apt for our son

Quelled

desire to study

quelled due to antique beliefs

just a girl she was

This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014. I am doing two posts for every alphabet. The Non-themed posts can be found here.

Kundli Connections

Kundli (horoscope) - the magical piece of paper that holds the answers to all questions unfathomable to the logical mind of a sane human being. Apart from holding the powers to foresee about how the child would fare in his studies, whether the beta has the yog of flying abroad and how much money would he mint; the kundli becomes the most sacred and sought-after word for Indian parents when it comes to getting their offspring married to complete strangers.

Image courtesy: Google search

After all, when the prospective partners aren’t allowed to talk to each other for more than a few hours, let alone allowing them to date other person, one obviously needs a measuring scale to decide whether this is ‘the stranger’ who you can get your child to spend their life with? Well well, the kundli comes to the rescue. For it is not the likes and dislikes of the children that should help choose their partner, but it is some random planetary position that gets the privilege of deciding whether this is the best dulha (groom) for your rajdulaari (princess) or she is the perfect bahu (daughter-in-law) you are looking for your eklauta beta (only son).

Your khandaani pandit (priest) plays a very important role in this ‘stranger gets married to stranger’ game. For it is him who would after some deep analysis of the rahus and the ketus residing in the kundlis of both the girl and guy, shall he let you know whether she is ‘the stranger’ who would keep your son happy, be a good daughter-in-law bringing in prosperity to your household and who shall also bear you the khandan ka varis.

The zodiacs are matched. Very necessary. For an Arian shall find it hard to get along with a Capricorn and shall be best compatible with a Gemini. The mangaliks are to be set up with fellow mangaliks only. Wait, the ones having shanis would also do at times. The planets and their positions are studied, dashas and mahadashas are calculated, matched and after trying various permutations and combinations of the planetary positions of both the stranger parties, a score is arrived at out of a total 36 points. This score is ‘the’ magical number which would decide whether to go ahead with this particular stranger for your child or not.

Anything below 18 is not acceptable at all and this rishta is to be dismissed off without another thought. Yes, even the planetary positions need a minimum number of passing marks. Well, if the scores stand anything from 25 to 32, then this particular stranger with whom the score has been achieved can be met and then be judged on other parameters.

And Holy Hell, if the score is anything above 32, rounds of gulab jamuns start circulating amongst the families already for this is ‘the’ match that is made in heaven. And come hell or high water, this rishta cannot be refused. Because this is ‘the’ bouy that is supposed to give your daughter all the happiness she deserves in the world and she is ‘the’ sanskari bahu your house would ever get. And making the guy meet the girl and other such unimportant events later, boom.. they are married !!

In this process, one might also come across families that aren’t compatible to yours. And this magical piece of paper called kundli comes in handy for warding off such families. The mother just puts up a sad face and announces with a sigh to the other mother that the kundlis aren’t compatible which is responded by the other party with another sigh and something like ‘it’s all destined’ and other such well-rehearsed lines. Both the parties know the truth, but none utters. After all, it is so rude to say that your beta isn’t earning as much as our daughter. Why say and spoil, when you can blame it all on the kundli?

So you see, things are that simple in our arranged marriage system to decide whether he/she is ‘the one’ or not. Pretty convenient, ain’t it?

This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014 under Non-Themed category. I am doing two posts for this Challenge and Themed posts can be found here.

Twenty Eight and Single – #ConditionSeriousHai

Today, my poor blog baby is about to witness its first official rant. Rant against some people jinki condition serious hai. My tongue is in a mood to whiplash. And let me tell you, all the characters mentioned here are not fictitious at all and definitely bear resemblance to a person living (who isn’t dead coz I don’t wanna write remaining of my posts on jail walls). So after you read this, if it feels that this post has been directed at you, then you are probably absolutely correct for once. Because, I am directing this at you. Read. Re-read if it doesn’t go in your head and once it goes down, please retreat to the safe chambers of your gossip gang but without the holding the baton against me.  So here it goes.

To my neighborhood aunties and some so-called relatives – inki #ConditionSeriousHai  

Yes, I am twenty eight year old  and still single. Yeah, now keep those eyebrows at their place and close that mouth of yours. My dear neighborhood aunties and relatives, I am so glad that your daughters got married when they were twenty three. Good for them. Good for you too. But that doesn’t decide what age I should be getting married. No. If you think that your daughter getting married earlier than me gives you a right to comment on what should be the right age for a woman to settle down, then let me tell you, ki aapki condition serious hai. By the way kuch lete kyun nai? Like some sense? You know why? Because there is no such right age. Shocking isn’t it? It is, because the right age for me to get married would be when I think I am ready for it. Surprise Surprise. I get to decide that. So now deal with it. And hey by the way, I am just twenty eight and not forty. So get your calculations right. I am really not that old that it should set your panic alarms ringing every time you see me. 

And when you keep on pestering my family about the repercussions of my ‘late’ marriage (which by the way is ‘late’ according to your standards, not mine), your serious condition becomes ever more grave. So, just stop freaking my family out, will ya? 

And your emotional atyachar about what would happen to my younger brothers and sisters if I don’t get married soon literally bores me to death. They are above eighteen and can get married whenever and whoever they want to. Do you think I would have stopped them if they ever wanted to? No. Never. I would be happy if they decide to do it before me. I get another chance to celebrate for them. So before your grave condition becomes even irreversibly damaged, kuch karte kyun nai? Like minding your own business?

And by the way, I just forgot to mention that I am not having an affair anywhere. Oh God, did I just rob you of your topic to bitch on for the next kitty party? Tch.. Tch.. Sorry. But, now since you have the word from me, why don’t you just stop whispering behind my back saying that’s the reason I am not getting married anywhere. And hey, even if that was the case, it is again me who decides when and whom I choose to get married to. Okay. So, let me remind you once again, ke aapki condition seriously very very serious hai. Kuch sochte kyun nai? Like something more meaningful for your own life?

To my dear ‘just’ acquaintances – inki bhi #ConditionSeriousHai

My weekends are very special to me. Because that’s the time when I rewind with friends and family, when I write and when I basically laze around. So, my dear acquaintances, if you believe that hunting a guy for an arranged marriage every weekend counts in my idea of having fun on a weekend, then aapki condition about idea of fun is seriously very serious. 

Remember, I took a few days off last time. I did not go and meet any guy for the arranged marriage set up. No, I did not. Disappointing, isn’t it? It is to me too. When every time I come back from a holiday, the first question that gets directed to me is how was the guy which ‘you’ think I would have gone to meet. And when I say I haven’t taken a leave for that purpose, don’t give me that ‘knowing’ smile of yours. It angers me even more. That plastic smile of mine? That’s not a smile. That’s my way of telling you to just shut up and mull over your own critical condition because my holidays are not reserved to be spent only for husband hunting.

And, when you hear any of my friends getting engaged or married, your question about when am I giving you a chance to feast at my wedding has become such cliché. Hey, you know what, come this Sunday, let me treat you to a hearty lunch at a good restaurant if that’s the only reason why you want to see me married. But next time you throw me this question, I will purposely delete you from my guest list whenever I decide to get married. Because aisi serious condition mein, you shouldn’t go out too often. Tab tak, kuch lete kyun nai? Like a good look at your own affairs.

Dear acquaintances, when you ask me how many guys have I seen (seen as in for the arranged marriage set up) till date for the so-called ‘arranged marriage’ thingy, my answer ‘chal raha hai’ is just a polite way of saying that’s none of your bloody business. So just back off and nurse yourself. Because apki condition na, badi serious hai ji.  

To some ‘friends’ – Yes, inki bhi #ConditionSeriousHai

Read this conversation I had on Facebook chat:

Friend: Hi. How are you?

Me: Hey, M good. Long time. How are you?

Friend: I am fine. Where are you these days?

Me: I am in Ahmedabad itself. How about you?

Friend: Are you married?

Me: Not yet. Happily Single.

Friend: Oh. Why? Why aren’t you married till date?

Me: *No reply*

Friend: Arrey, you should get married by now na. Why are you single?

Me: Coz I am on a mission to save Mother Earth from the impending attack of Mars and the reason I am not getting married is that when I receive a call for performing my divine duty of saving our Mother earth, I shouldn’t be stuck within a pile of utensils to be washed or laundry to be done. J

Friend: *No reply*

Me: You there?

Me (ten minutes later): It was nice talking to you by the way.

Yes, this conversation actually happened with a friend from school who I haven’t seen or talked to since ages. I mean why, just why is my marital status such great concern? And this was not just an off-hand chat that I had. A similar kind happened not once, not twice but thrice. Yes, it did. The only common thing between them being me not knowing those friends too well.

For friends who I have better contact with and who have had such conversations with me, just to let you know that if I steer the conversation into some other direction then that is my way of asking you not to enter into that territory. Please understand. After all, I don’t want ke apki bi condition serious ho jaaye.

Now that all seriously serious people have been warned by me, it’s time for me to hope that they get well soon. And till the time that happens, I am *off to saving Mother Earth from the impending attack from Mars*

This post is exclusively written for ‘#ConditionSeriousHai!’ contest powered by Cadbury 5 Star and Indiblogger. Check out their facebook page here: Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page