Friday, 18 July 2014

Five Sentence Fiction - Rain

He folded all the clothes that were to be ironed in the old sari and waited patiently at the verandah for the madam to appear.

He prayed with all his might for a yes to his question because this was the last house where he could ask and if she too denied he would have nowhere to go.

‘I am sorry Shankar, I don’t think it would be possible for us’ said the madam and his last hopes sank, moistening his eyes.

‘But Madam, it is not such a big ..’ and before he could finish the sentence, the door had already closed.

He looked dejected at the sky covered with clouds, ready to burst anytime, remembering the urgent repair required in the leaky rooftop of the small room that accommodated his family of seven members.


Written for Five Sentence Fiction for the prompt - RAIN


50 comments:

  1. I hate such cruel people.
    Awesome take on the prompt.

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  2. sigh :(
    Good one babe.
    How people unknowingly become cruel.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Red. Hope people become more kind towards others. The world needs such people :)

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  3. Money needed to repair the roof from the rain...
    But, rejection adds to the pain...
    Realistic story, Jyotsna.

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    1. Thanks Anita. Hope you liked the effort !!

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  4. A lovely take on the prompt, Jyotsna :)
    Cruelty and rejection combined!

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  5. People deny to help others...most of the times..I wonder why they love to be so cruel.. :-(

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    1. World has become fake Maniparna. And in all this fakeness, sometimes even genuine requests go unheard :(

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  6. Sad one this..... while I agree it was cruel, you also find people who take advantage when you start loaning them money... this is how the world is :(

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    1. I totally agree with you Seeta :( Fakes make the world a difficult place for even genuine people :(

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  7. Hmmm...realistic ...truth is truth though cruel...sad facet of life..we'll depicted

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  8. oh no .. reality hurts ..

    and i wish monsoons brought cheer and not sinking of heart ..

    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, reality does hurt. I wish too Bikram but life is not a bed of roses for everyone :(

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  9. People welcome rains with open arms but this poor man has different problems.

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  10. So sad... We would be thinking that we are saving money. But, we don't know how many times we'd have lost chances to help the needy... An eye opener... Will remember this always :) TC! Keep smiling :)

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    1. Glad you liked this Sindhu. Lots of love to you too :) Take care !!

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  11. I liked the story would like to know what happened to the man.

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    1. Let me see if I can extend this to another part Ranu. Thanks for visiting :)

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  12. A fiction written with the fact in mind. Well narrated !

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  13. This is one sad tale :( A little something from our side can go a long way in helping others. I love the way you have narrated it, Jyotsna :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes, just a little something from our side could mean a lot to some people. Glad you liked this attempt dear :)

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  14. sad tale and beautifully narrated... :(
    Let's pray that everyone gets a comfortable and cozy shelter to stay in...
    Visit My Blog HERE

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  15. :( How beautifully you have brought out such a painful story in five sentences!

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  16. The world is a ruthless place to live. Kudos Jyotsna for expressing the pain so well.

    http://vishal-newkidontheblock.blogspot.com/2014/07/an-orkut-love-story-chapter-19.html

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    Replies
    1. It sure is a ruthless place. Thanks Vishal :)

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  17. His troubles...the rain...everything urgent yet impossible. Perhaps it will rain a miracle...

    http://www.thejadedlens.com/2014/07/19/abrupt/

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  18. some poor people :( .. life is never easy i guess !

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  19. This is tragic :( And such a cruel reality as well!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, a cruel reality of so many people around us :(

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  20. Sometimes when we refuse to help people, we really don't see their genuine need for help. Sad but true. A very unique take on the prompt.

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    1. Yes, genuineness gets lost in fake world out there. Thanks Vinodini :)

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  21. Tragic story beautifully told!

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