Thursday, 26 June 2014

A Special Bond


Our flight has been delayed by three hours and we are stuck at Mumbai airport. How strange it feels calling him and me as ‘we’. He has dozed off at the nearby seat. I stare at his face for a long time. Never have I stared at him for so long, so closely. Never had I in my wildest dreams thought that I would be married to him. Not when I had met him briefly five years ago, not while on that trip with the group, not while talking to him on phone when he was crying on the other end and neither while sobbing profusely when he was consoling me.

But nobody ever said life would be predictable. And thus, we are a married couple now. A newly married couple. An inter-caste marriage for which we fought with our parents and coaxed them for months until we were finally successful. But you know what’s strange? That I convinced my parents to allow me to get married to a guy I do not love. Yes, I do not love him. And I know that he doesn’t either.

You would be wondering that if we didn’t love each other, then why on earth were we married. And it was not the typical arranged marriage. We had fought for being with each other. Yes, I would prefer calling it ‘being with each other’ rather than ‘love’.

Because ‘love’ was a feeling that I felt for just one person! The only person who I still call ‘mine’! The only person whose name still brings smile to my lips! Piyush. The person who taught me what love meant. But Piyush is no longer with me today. Though his memories are still afresh as dew within me! We were together for five years. Five blissful years! It was probably during our third year of togetherness that I came to know about Vikram, the person who I now call my husband. But at that time, he dated my best friend Riddhima. He stayed in another city and I heard of him briefly from Riddhima. We also had a couple of meetings formally where I met him along with Piyush.

A few twists and turns later, both of us had been torn apart from our respective lovers – first it was Vikram because Riddima’s parents didn’t approve of him, and then me. And I don’t even know till date why Piyush broke up with me.

Both of us knew about the times we were going through and called each other up a few times. Especially, when we were tired of holding ourselves in front of the world and needed a place where we didn’t have to pretend to have moved on, when we needed a place where we could cry for hours at a stretch cursing life for taking away the persons we loved so dearly from our lives. We talked and talked, each narrating his/her love story to the other. We told each other how much we loved and how badly we missed the love of our lives. We shared the happiest moments about our love lives, or rather our past love lives. We sometimes fought about whose love had been greater. Silly us! We shared similar thoughts about our inability to fall in love with anybody else ever again. Both of us knew we would never be able to love our future partners the way we loved our past.

It was during one such conversation where I cursed societal pressure of getting married, that he suggested about getting married to each other. 'Atleast that way, we wouldn’t have to bear the pressure of cheating our future partners or of trying to fake our love for somebody' - he had said. I laughed at the suggestion at that time. But somewhere it struck a chord within me.

I talked to Vikram later asking if he was serious. He was. We gave it a thought for few more days. And we found that it was the best possible alternative for our aching hearts. We could speak to each other for hours about our pasts because both of us knew that the other person would listen and comfort rather than judge. We knew that none of us needed love of any other person because we were happy reveling in the love and time we spent with our past. And that was the reason why we married each other.

My bag today still carries all the photographs, gifts and memorabilia from Piyush and Vikram still has everything he shared with Riddhima.

It’s been almost a year since we have been talking to each other. And during this entire year, there hasn’t been a day when our aching hearts have stopped aching or our memories have stranded us of our past. We have taken the constant hollow pain, that emptiness as a part of ourselves now.

The only comfort for both of us is that there is one more person who is sharing this void and that’s what makes this bond special. A bond of sharing emptiness, broken hearts and bleeding tears, a bond of cursing fates and hating society and a bond tied to pasts and uncaring of futures!


Written for Write...Edit...Publish. Theme of the month - Romance




Monday, 23 June 2014

Comfort - Haiku

when world is cruel
and emotions unnamed surge
words, you comfort me

*****

tired, broken, angry
life be hard, but mother's lap
of comfort it smells



Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Sharp as Swords

Your words
Sharp as swords
Purposely you say
Them you do not weigh
Aiming to derogate
For unknown reasons, me you hate

Your words
Sharp as swords
They shake me up
They break me down
Constantly on loop
In my mind now they play

Your words
Sharp as swords
I replay them again
And rises inside a sharp pain
My day is spoilt, and so is my mood
Inside I sit and relentlessly brood

Your words
Sharp as swords
You called me to meet
And with your words, you mistreat
Didn’t take you minutes at all
To find within me unknown faults

Your words
Sharp as swords
Play, replay
They constantly go on
If only
You would have stopped
To think and weigh

Your words
Sharp as swords
May be it’s in your nature
To not nurture
But merely cause hurt
Your words
Yes !
They were sharp as swords




Written for Magpie Tales # 223

Friday, 6 June 2014

The Perfect Travel Companion - #TimeToTransform

Right, so they ask me what keeps me hooked on to technology even when I am on the move? Perfect question for a sarkari babu who travels three hours to work everyday. Imagine! Three hours a day and that too in those worn-out buses. Staying in one end of one city and working in another city altogether leaves me ample time for doing anything that I like. But, only when I am on the move.

Umm.. so, what are my options while I travel? Well, I could doze off into perfect slumber. But, with the cacophony generated from those obsolete buses, I guess only dead can sleep in them. And not to forget the distant cousins of Michael Schumacher that we have as the drivers of these buses who ensure that the passengers do not get a chance to even catch a wink. So, well, the sleep part is not an option at all.

I could chat with fellow passengers. But, considering everybody around me is either in his late forties or fifties, I have some serious doubt about the kinds of conversations we could have. With women in the bus who are more interested in discussing recipes and good tuition teachers for their darling kiddos, I fear I can be of much help to them in any of these departments. So, friendly chitchat with fellow passengers gets ruled out too.

Then, what options does a poor sarkari babu travelling to work have to keep herself entertained throughout the long and treacherous journey? And the answer to that is that little invention called mobile phones. (God Bless the guy who invented this super awesome invention) So, you probably got my answer for the question asked in the first line. It’s my phone that keeps me hooked to technology.

Well that’s what I do while I am on the move. I don’t know if you can say that I am hooked to my phone. No. Hooked would be understatement of the millennium. I am literally bound by some invisible bond that makes me stick to my phone as if my life depends on it. And in a way it does.

My phone is a smartphone but it hasn’t remained too smart with time. And how often can an honest sarkari babu afford to change her phone. Well, atleast not in less than 2 years. And mine hasn’t completed two years yet. So that’s what I have. And howsoever it behaves with me I love it to no extent. Mind you, never ever, have I forgotten to take my phone along with me!

And I do whatever little my phone allows me to do. Now who in today’s times isn’t addicted to social media? I admit, I am. Totally and crazily addicted. Being a blogger, social media also doubles up as my platform for showcasing my blog. (That’s another thing that this is also an excuse I give to my family when they get angry for my excessive facebook addiction). So after hopping onto my bus and fanatically searching for a good place to sit, the first thing that I do is open my facebook account. I mean, isn’t it obvious since I remain away from my phone while sleeping? And after I have satisfied myself that I have not missed any updates, the next thing that I search fanatically in my huge bag is my headphones. (Yes, my bag is a typical woman bag which means you can never find what you are looking for unless you topple the contents upside down) And after getting some dirty looks from my co-passenger because of my continuous shifting in my seat while searching for my headphones, I plug them in and dissolve into some amazing music. And yes not to forget, all during this facebooking and music, I am continuously chatting to some or the other friends of mine. Whatsapp is another boon for me. And that’s exactly how my journey to work is. All thanks to the technology called mobiles the harrowing journey to work is a little less painful for sarkari babus like me.       

But I have just one grudge with my dear phone. It doesn’t allow me to read properly and let’s not even talk about the writing part. I have to keep on scrolling the pages of the lovely blogs that I wish to read and it takes me ages to finish reading smallest of the posts. And at the end of it, rather than getting the satisfaction of having read some wonderful posts, I am half tired because of the strain on my eyes trying to read those small fonts and half because of the numbness in my fingers due to continuous scrolling.

And that’s what brings me to the second part of the question. What I think will keep me hooked to a "Transformed" T100 when I am on the move. Do I even need to answer that question now? Well, ok, if you say so, I will.

The super cool laptop that would allow me to read and connect with awesome bloggers out there is what would keep me hooked. Its light and handy design being perfect for travelling is what should keep me hooked. Intel Atom quad Core processor and Windows 8.1 to make my work easy is what I think should have me hooked. The relief of not having to check the battery again and again and worrying about its draining is what would keep me hooked.
And the keyboard dock perfectly designed 19 mm travel distance is the icing on the cake since it would allow me doing what I do best - Write. And there is nothing better than writing that can keep me hooked. Oh yeah! And wait, there is a cherry on the cake too. The super sleek eye pleasing design is sure to make heads turn. So I am going to grab on to it even harder.  

I am going to be hooked for sure.  And with those features, who would not be?



This is written for “TIME TO TRANSFORM” contest by ASUS in association with Indiblogger. You can visit them at http://www.asusindia.co.in/T100/
     



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