Oh, you have a Government Job??? Aish hai ..

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The first thing that I hear after I tell anybody that I work as a Government Officer is this: ‘Aish hai’ (Read: You are really lucky. No work. Good pay and so many holidays.) I have lost count as to how many times have these words been spoken to me in different permutations and combinations. Each and every one of them remarking on how a government job is a dream job for them and that I am living my dream with no work and good pay. (Read bribes included) So yeah, this is a rant. Against the so-called stupid myths surrounding government officers. Here we go.

We work:

First and foremost. We work. As much as this sounds alien to you, but we, the Government officers work. I know it’s difficult for a lot of people to digest that we actually do something in return for the pay that we get, but yes, we do. We are concerned about projects getting implemented and work getting done on time. I agree it takes time to get your permission papers in place but that is not because we aren’t working, that is because we are bound by procedures. The procedures that are there to safeguard public interests.

Fixed working hours? Not always !

Another so-called perk that we Government officers ‘enjoy’ is that we have fixed number of work hours everyday. We do. But so does every other organization. And just like every other organization, there are days when we sit way past our official leaving time just to finish our work. Here’s a Ripley’s Believe it or Not for you: We have worked even on Sundays and public holidays. In offices and even from our homes. And you know what, we do not get paid extra for this extra time we put in. We do not get eligible for out-of-line promotions because in government, everyone is equal. You work or you do not work, everyone is eligible for promotion or pay according to rules. And yet that does not take away the dedication some of us have towards our jobs. 

Unlimited leaves - A big No

Picture this. A distant relative was celebrating her son’s birthday in a grand way and I was invited. I agreed but told them that I shall have to see if leaves are available. And then came the very expected remark. ‘Oh come on, Jyotsna. You are in government. You can take as many leaves as you want. We know you can manage’ I was told, followed by wink. And I could do nothing but stare in sheer surprise at the ignorance.

Here’s my reply. No. No, we cannot take any number of holidays at our will. Because just like our private counterparts, we too have bosses. As I said above, we also have work. We have procedures to be followed and plus we have limited number of leaves that are granted to us every year like any other organization. So our quota of leaves doesn’t get replenished all by itself any time of the year and hence even Government officers need to plan their leaves.   

We have rules:

Rules. We have them. We follow them. We dread them. Just like any private organization. We are known to be notorious for doing whatever we want on files. I beg to differ. The answer is again a big no. We have audit systems in place. We do have checks and balances. Yes, we do have job security. But that is not a gate pass for us in going around and doing things however we want. As I said, we have rules and regulations and policies in place that we are supposed to follow.     

We are changing:

Get over your image of old sarkari offices that you have in mind where babus are not to be found on their table and if found are just whiling away time looking for lunch and other breaks. Or the women are busy weaving sweaters or pealing pea pods for dinner. Sorry but that is the thing of the past. We are changing. We don’t go around running our personal errands in office time.

I am not saying we, as Government organizations have attained perfection. No, we have not. We still have a long way to go. Just like our country. But we have improved and are improving day by day. Just like this country. I am not saying every government officer you meet is an epitome of dedication towards their work. No, they aren’t. But not all of them are lazy buffoons who got lucky by getting a government job and all they have to do in office is while away time. We, in government have our share of ‘hard’ working and ‘hardly’ working officers. Just like any other private organization.

Some of us in Government are trying to make things work in every little way possible. I do not know how far have we succeeded or how long will we take to succeed. But next time, please do not belittle some of us or our work by saying ‘Aish hai’.  

Much more than JUST a number on the weighing scale

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I feel anger rising within me as I write this. And I have a reason. No wait. I don’t have just a reason, I have reasons. I haven’t really ranted on my blog except for a few occasions here. But this rant is much stronger than all my earlier rants because of the way this topic has been attached to me since ‘I don’t know when’. So here we go.

I have always been on the heavier side of the weighing scale all my life. You read it right, all my life. Atleast from the time I remember. But that’s not the point here.

The point here is the general attitude of society towards people on the heavier side of the scale. The attitude where they think it is their birth right to make fun of overweight people. Just like the way, they think it is our moral obligation to be made fun of. The attitude where they think that being on the heavier side of the scale is a sin and hence we deserve to be made fun of. So go ahead, make fun. Because we are like this out of choice and find sheer joy in being overweight. Right? Wrong. I am sorry to break it to you that we hate being your source of free entertainment. And that nobody, just nobody likes to be on the heavier side of the scale, for being mocked for the way our bodies are made differently than yours and for the way our bodies react differently to situations and circumstances. And that when you pass a judgement or make fun of my body, it does not define me, it defines YOU as nothing more than an insensitive buffoon. And everytime I don’t react to your mockery, it is not because I do not have an equally sarcastic and demeaning comment about you, but it is because I do not wish to downgrade myself at your doltish levels.

Right from acquaintances, relatives, friends to colleagues to total strangers, I have been mocked for my body for the number of times I do not even remember with comments as stupid as the fact that I carry huge bags because I need to carry a large lunch box fitting my size. How lame. How stupidly lame. Or wait. There is something even lamer. Like the time when I was running around in the office for getting some work done. And pat comes the comment asking me stop running because the staircase could fall. Right. Coz you see, I weigh equivalent to crane capable of bulldozing an entire building. Wow. Just Wow. This is just the tip of an iceberg of the nasty comments I have heard over the years.

And then there is something equally irksome. The way everybody turns into so-called experts on my body. The way they think they have the right to suggest me remedies to reduce my weight. Because I have no clue how to do it and because I do not know how to handle my body and because they are on the right side of the scale, they obviously have more fitness gyaan than what I have and hence they are obliged to throw their bizarre suggestions for weight loss in my face. As if I am suffering from some terminal illness and they are doing their bit of social service by providing their valuable suggestions.

The more I think about such comments and instances, the more it angers me. Not just because they were said about me but more because of the way our society behaves and general perception of the people towards this topic. The way people have no clue that fat shaming does not motivate anybody to lose weight and that it affects people at much deeper psychological levels than they could ever imagine.   

There was a time when this mockery affected me for days. It affects me. Still. Ofcource not to the extent it used to. Because today I accept myself and my body much more heartily than I used to. And that does not mean I do not work towards making myself more fit. This just means that I accept my curves and my stretch marks much more today than I did earlier.

But not everybody can cope with fat shaming. Even I haven’t learnt to cope with it completely. But then why can't people understand that making fun of people for their overweight body is somewhat equivalent making fun of a blind person? Just like nobody likes to be blind, similarly no one likes being on the heavier side.

I have no clue why our society cannot take a heavier person just like everybody else. Why is there always a need to look down upon me, to mock me or to advise me? Why can't I be taken as just another person? Why can't I be seen more than just a body? Why does every other aspect of my personality hide under the fact that I am overweight?

Because I know that I am much more than JUST a number on the weighing scale.   

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Available in herds ??

Yes, I asked the question of the tittle to myself when I heard views of somebody on women. Somebody, who is educated and works at a good position in an organization. We were having a general conversation about this one girl we knew who was leaving her job since she was getting married someplace else.

And this is what he said. ‘You know that’s why I don’t think women should be educated. The women these days take half of the seats in schools, high end colleges and jobs. And at the end what do they do? They leave their high paying jobs. Isn’t that the sheer waste of seats? First, in schools and colleges and then in jobs as well? I mean, had there been a guy in her place, who would have studied in that good college and gotten himself a job that she landed on, he would have continued the job. He would be taking care of an entire family.’

Logic told me to argue and say that if that girl was leaving a job here, she would take up the job somewhere else too. It’s not that she has wasted entire education of hers. And even if she decides to quit, that cannot be a reason of depriving her of the education. I thought I should tell him about what difference a woman can make in the family if she is educated even though she would not go out and work.

But then sanity took over me and I kept mum. I switched on my plastic smile mode. (the one where I am uttering expletives under my breath and my face has the most angelic smile ever. It comes with practice. Try it sometime.)

Why should I be arguing with a person who doesn’t even has his basics correct? How much difference would I make in his thinking by adding a few arguments? If he had slightest idea of the enormity of the words he was speaking, he wouldn’t be saying them.

And this is not the sole person I know. There is this other gentleman (don’t know if I can call him that) who strongly and staunchly believes that no matter how greater heights I would achieve in my career, I would always remain below my husband. And that I should even accept if my future husband hits me sometime because after all my husband would also love me and hence he has the right to even get angry at me sometimes. Weird isn’t it?   

And what do you argue with such people? It rages you from inside when even the educated lot thinks like that. What could be expected from uneducated ones then?

I don’t know if the Universe is conspiring to make me meet such pea-size brained people again and again. But I tend to find them in herds. Or are they actually available in herds?

This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014 under Non-Themed category. Themed posts for this challenge can be found here.

Haha.. Let's joke on women today as well !!

It is almost evening as I type this. I wrote about an inspirational woman here during the Write Tribe Festival and hence, my mind was still searching for clues to write upon for today’s theme. It is a weekend and my cheery mode was on activation, especially with all the wonderful messages I received and posts that I read for today. And then, I received the following message in one of my Whatsapp groups:

HAPPY MEN'S DAY!!! For the first time something on a MAN. Do read it...Who is a MAN?

A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts compromising at a very tender age. He sacrifices his chocolates for his sister. He sacrifices his dreams for just a smile on his parents face. He spends his entire pocket money on buying gifts for the lady he loves just to see her smiling. He sacrifices his full youth for his wife & children by working late at night without any complain. He builds their future by taking loans from banks & repaying them for lifetime. He struggles a lot & still has to bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss. His life finally ends up only by compromising for others' happiness.

BECHARA MARD...!?

Agar aurat par hath uthaye to besharam, aurat se maar khae to buzdil,

Aurat ko kisi ke saat dekh ker ladai kare to jealous, chup rahe to darpok,

Ghar se bahar rahe to aawara, ghar me rahe to naakara,

Bachhon ko daante to zaalim, na daante to laparwah,

Aurat ko naukari karane se roke to shak karne wala, aurat ko naukari karane se na rokey to biwi ki kamai khane wala,

Maa ki maane to chamcha, biwi ki sune to joru ka gulam..

Na Jane Kab Aayega.. "HAPPY MEN'S DAY” Respect every male in your life. You will never know what he has sacrificed for you. Worth sending to every man to make him smile & every woman to make her realize his worth!! HAPPY MEN'S DAY JO OFFICIALLY KABI  NAHI AAYEGA..

Had it been any other day, I would have laughed it off adding some tongue showing emoticons in the response. May be I would have taken this with a pinch of salt and started a friendly Men vs. Women argument. May be I would not have even responded.

But not today. Today, something irked me with the above message. I know the above message was not against women per se. But today, when the world is celebrating the women in their life, there was one man who thought of sending the above message.

I could have put up an equally strong and long message about the sacrifices women make but I am sure it would have hurt my fingers typing such a huge list. And an equally acerbic response to the way women are labeled and judged on whatever they do. But no Sir. I did not do any such thing to avoid much hurt to my delicate fingers who I thought should better be used for typing some wonderful posts. And I just responded by saying that there is a special day dedicated for men which is celebrated on 19^th November every year and that the above message was distasteful for today’s day.  

I was replied with a message that wasn’t it distasteful of me to think that we should be celebrating womanhood only on a single day rather than everyday?

Oh, what a wonderful thought it was!! So my response to this wonderful thought was something that I read today from one of the fellow bloggers - that we live every single day of our life, then why do we celebrate our birthday only once a year? If there is a particular day dedicated to celebrating womanhood, why can’t we just revel in it?  

And also the fact, that I celebrate the woman in me and wonderful women around me, every single day. It’s just that today, along with ourselves, we give the men around a chance to celebrate us.

I don’t know why any joke on women today irked me. I even sent a disclaimer warning to a dear friend saying that dare he irk me more today with jokes on women, the HALO on my head would not take time to get converted into some deadly HORNS ;)

It’s not that I have not read such jokes on women before. Trust me, there are ample of them and some are pretty creative too. I have laughed them off as well. May be, I have even sent a few around myself. But, I really don’t know why could I not take a joke on women today? I am not anti-men or something but today I just couldn’t take a joke on me. Is it because I thought that why can’t there be even a single day when women are not mocked about or something else, I really don’t know.  

I don’t even know if this post makes any sense on today’s occasion. Hope you had a better celebration of Women’s Day. To all the lovely ladies out there, a Happy Women’s Day to you.

This post is written for the Write Tribe Festival of Words – Day 7. And the theme was WOMEN.

Twenty Eight and Single – #ConditionSeriousHai

Today, my poor blog baby is about to witness its first official rant. Rant against some people jinki condition serious hai. My tongue is in a mood to whiplash. And let me tell you, all the characters mentioned here are not fictitious at all and definitely bear resemblance to a person living (who isn’t dead coz I don’t wanna write remaining of my posts on jail walls). So after you read this, if it feels that this post has been directed at you, then you are probably absolutely correct for once. Because, I am directing this at you. Read. Re-read if it doesn’t go in your head and once it goes down, please retreat to the safe chambers of your gossip gang but without the holding the baton against me.  So here it goes.

To my neighborhood aunties and some so-called relatives – inki #ConditionSeriousHai  

Yes, I am twenty eight year old  and still single. Yeah, now keep those eyebrows at their place and close that mouth of yours. My dear neighborhood aunties and relatives, I am so glad that your daughters got married when they were twenty three. Good for them. Good for you too. But that doesn’t decide what age I should be getting married. No. If you think that your daughter getting married earlier than me gives you a right to comment on what should be the right age for a woman to settle down, then let me tell you, ki aapki condition serious hai. By the way kuch lete kyun nai? Like some sense? You know why? Because there is no such right age. Shocking isn’t it? It is, because the right age for me to get married would be when I think I am ready for it. Surprise Surprise. I get to decide that. So now deal with it. And hey by the way, I am just twenty eight and not forty. So get your calculations right. I am really not that old that it should set your panic alarms ringing every time you see me. 

And when you keep on pestering my family about the repercussions of my ‘late’ marriage (which by the way is ‘late’ according to your standards, not mine), your serious condition becomes ever more grave. So, just stop freaking my family out, will ya? 

And your emotional atyachar about what would happen to my younger brothers and sisters if I don’t get married soon literally bores me to death. They are above eighteen and can get married whenever and whoever they want to. Do you think I would have stopped them if they ever wanted to? No. Never. I would be happy if they decide to do it before me. I get another chance to celebrate for them. So before your grave condition becomes even irreversibly damaged, kuch karte kyun nai? Like minding your own business?

And by the way, I just forgot to mention that I am not having an affair anywhere. Oh God, did I just rob you of your topic to bitch on for the next kitty party? Tch.. Tch.. Sorry. But, now since you have the word from me, why don’t you just stop whispering behind my back saying that’s the reason I am not getting married anywhere. And hey, even if that was the case, it is again me who decides when and whom I choose to get married to. Okay. So, let me remind you once again, ke aapki condition seriously very very serious hai. Kuch sochte kyun nai? Like something more meaningful for your own life?

To my dear ‘just’ acquaintances – inki bhi #ConditionSeriousHai

My weekends are very special to me. Because that’s the time when I rewind with friends and family, when I write and when I basically laze around. So, my dear acquaintances, if you believe that hunting a guy for an arranged marriage every weekend counts in my idea of having fun on a weekend, then aapki condition about idea of fun is seriously very serious. 

Remember, I took a few days off last time. I did not go and meet any guy for the arranged marriage set up. No, I did not. Disappointing, isn’t it? It is to me too. When every time I come back from a holiday, the first question that gets directed to me is how was the guy which ‘you’ think I would have gone to meet. And when I say I haven’t taken a leave for that purpose, don’t give me that ‘knowing’ smile of yours. It angers me even more. That plastic smile of mine? That’s not a smile. That’s my way of telling you to just shut up and mull over your own critical condition because my holidays are not reserved to be spent only for husband hunting.

And, when you hear any of my friends getting engaged or married, your question about when am I giving you a chance to feast at my wedding has become such cliché. Hey, you know what, come this Sunday, let me treat you to a hearty lunch at a good restaurant if that’s the only reason why you want to see me married. But next time you throw me this question, I will purposely delete you from my guest list whenever I decide to get married. Because aisi serious condition mein, you shouldn’t go out too often. Tab tak, kuch lete kyun nai? Like a good look at your own affairs.

Dear acquaintances, when you ask me how many guys have I seen (seen as in for the arranged marriage set up) till date for the so-called ‘arranged marriage’ thingy, my answer ‘chal raha hai’ is just a polite way of saying that’s none of your bloody business. So just back off and nurse yourself. Because apki condition na, badi serious hai ji.  

To some ‘friends’ – Yes, inki bhi #ConditionSeriousHai

Read this conversation I had on Facebook chat:

Friend: Hi. How are you?

Me: Hey, M good. Long time. How are you?

Friend: I am fine. Where are you these days?

Me: I am in Ahmedabad itself. How about you?

Friend: Are you married?

Me: Not yet. Happily Single.

Friend: Oh. Why? Why aren’t you married till date?

Me: *No reply*

Friend: Arrey, you should get married by now na. Why are you single?

Me: Coz I am on a mission to save Mother Earth from the impending attack of Mars and the reason I am not getting married is that when I receive a call for performing my divine duty of saving our Mother earth, I shouldn’t be stuck within a pile of utensils to be washed or laundry to be done. J

Friend: *No reply*

Me: You there?

Me (ten minutes later): It was nice talking to you by the way.

Yes, this conversation actually happened with a friend from school who I haven’t seen or talked to since ages. I mean why, just why is my marital status such great concern? And this was not just an off-hand chat that I had. A similar kind happened not once, not twice but thrice. Yes, it did. The only common thing between them being me not knowing those friends too well.

For friends who I have better contact with and who have had such conversations with me, just to let you know that if I steer the conversation into some other direction then that is my way of asking you not to enter into that territory. Please understand. After all, I don’t want ke apki bi condition serious ho jaaye.

Now that all seriously serious people have been warned by me, it’s time for me to hope that they get well soon. And till the time that happens, I am *off to saving Mother Earth from the impending attack from Mars*

This post is exclusively written for ‘#ConditionSeriousHai!’ contest powered by Cadbury 5 Star and Indiblogger. Check out their facebook page here: Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page