Saturday, 19 April 2014

Quarantined

BlogAdda's Tangy Tuesday 

   




Shattered in pain, crying her insides out. No words can define her situation. Lost. She lost a part of her existence already. Her soulmate, her husband. The society is around. To take care of the necessities, the rituals. 

After he leaves, bathe her. Bathe her out in the open. Clothes. Colourless for her from now on. She doesn’t deserve colours in her life anymore. Her husband brought colours to her life. No him, no colours. Widow. They call her, right in her face. Cursed she is now. Cursed for life.

Quarantine her. For she is not a suhaagan anymore. Quarantine her like those diseased cattle. For her touch is not auspicious any longer. You talk about touch? Even her presence is inauspicious. Unwanted, to be precise. As if the death of her husband is not enough of a loss for her, she needs to be reminded all the time that she is cursed, cursed for life.

But, we are modern people now. We allow her to wear colours. Yes, ‘allow’ her. Allow her shades of light pinks, light blues, pale yellows and peaches. That’s it. No reds, greens and maroons can adorn her anymore. Nope. She doesn’t need them.

You allow her to live a normal life. Hah, ‘allow’ again. For she now needs permissions. Of those elder women - the ones who have gone through similar fates. Permissions - of the caretakers of culture, caretakers of society. She needs permissions for conducting some simple routines of life. 

But, we are modern people, you know. Ofcourse, she can be a part of ‘normal’ ladies group now that you have ‘allowed’ her. But, you cannot talk about your husbands in front of her. She can get jealous. I mean, who knows, maybe she might just want to rob you of all your happiness out of jealously and curse you of the same fate. You know, curses of ‘such kind’ of people affect you sooner. So again you quarantine certain topics in front of her. Topics of husbands. Of happiness. Of anything that ‘you’ think that she can never ‘enjoy’ now that she is a widow.

Marriages. She shouldn’t be attending them. How can she? Marriages are a celebration. How can she be a part of any celebration? She lost her right to celebrate after her husband, didn’t she? But again, as I told you, we are modern people. Call her, atleast as a formality. She wouldn’t dare to come. But if she disappoints you, you need to show her ‘her’ place. Remind her. Remind her that she is the cursed one. Keep her away as much as possible from any auspicious ceremony. She cannot handle the shagun ki thali nor touch the shagun ki mehndi. Quarantine her again. For apshakun she is. Evil eyed. Make her feel like an outcast. She should know that she is different. Not normal. Cursed.  

Her daughter’s marriage. Her daughter - her only reason for existence. Arey, we are modern people. She ofcourse will be part of her daughter’s wedding. But. You cannot let her do the kanyadaan. No. She is her daughter, so what? Her curse might fall on her own daughter. The girl is starting a new life. How can her mother’s apshakun be a part of her new life? Quarantine her of that dream too, the one she saw with her husband. Of getting her daughter married to handsome man. After all, she is cursed, isn’t she?

No, we are not robbing her of everything, you see. She can do something without any guilt. Like praying. Yes, that is the only righteous thing she can do after her husband. Pray hard. So that the sins of this life don’t affect her next life. As such she is suffering by being a widow in her present birth because of her past life sins.

Widow. You use that word for her as if she is diseased. Diseased. Yes. Not her. But You. It’s you that needs to be quarantined of your baseless beliefs; not her right to live a normal happy life. May be, just may be then, you can call yourself a modern society.  


This post is written as a part of April A to Z Challenge 2014 under Non-Themed category. I am doing two posts for this Challenge and Themed posts can be found here.


54 comments:

  1. Jyotsna this is a hard 'tamacha' on the face of modern society, which likes to be called modern but is, infact very narrow minded! Very well written story.

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    1. Thank you so much Usha Ma'am. I wish the society was a little less cruel to people!!

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  2. Very touching Jyotsna....These double standards in our Indian society are so deftly covered up yet so obvious.Time to set things straight by speaking up!

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    1. Absolutely Vinodini. I am just getting choked on these double standards of society. And who, if not us should set things straight.

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  3. Beauty..I will be sharing this one after a while

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    1. Thank you Vinay. Glad to have you here :)

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  5. Oh My God Jyotsna what a post. A tight slap on the face of hypocrites in your usual light manner. Touching.

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    1. Thank you so much Anu. I wish it reaches people.

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  6. some narrow minded people .. touching post :)

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    1. I swear.. narrow minded and hypocrites. Thanks Ankur :)

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  7. This is an excellent post Jyotsna. Deeply touches. Widow remarriage act was passed in 1856 yet the treatment to her by society has undergone no change! Like U say, in garb of 'modernity' some things r allowed, yet the filth in society's mind towards her remains....

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    1. Thanks dear. Our society needs a complete overhaul of its mentality. But I guess, the so called society's torch bearers would never allow that !!

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  8. We live in a so called modern society , yet we are entangled with such narrow rituals , blind customs and meaningless social norms...I feel pity for those who still think in this way. But as we all know this is a harsh reality. Kudos to you for such a post..

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    1. So aptly said Maniparna. Thank you so much :)

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  9. That was so touching. When will this society change! Our history books lied when they said revolutions by Raja Ram Mohan Roy brought about positive changes for women! :S

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    1. Ah yes, they lied. They totally lied. When would it change??

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  10. This makes me so sad. I have not seen these actions in the USA (although I am sure there are people out there that do this). I can't imagine the pain I would be in if I lost my husband and then to be an outcast in society as well. Breaks my heart. Keep up the good work!

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    1. Sadly, this is a harsh reality of a lot of women around in my country. Thanks for visiting :)

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  11. This was excellent. Thank you for writing it.

    Visiting from A to Z. http://iamclothedwithjoy.com/2014/04/19/quiet/

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  12. Jyotsna...it's such a powerful write up...I just don't have words to explain and yes I am fan of your power packed posts....

    I had written something similar ...if you find time plz do read it :)

    http://drsushreedash.blogspot.in/2014/03/colors.html

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    1. Aww.. thank you so much Sushree. You make me smile with that comment of yours. Reading yours now :)

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    1. Thank you for visiting. Do come back :)

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  14. The hypocrite society... and we are the puppets in their hands of rituals.

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    1. Yes. I just hope we are able to break these so called rituals that curb the right of a human being to live happily.

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  15. Unfortunately the true picture of hypocrite indian society...!!!

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  16. With you, in every word !! Sometimes the women ostracize themselves, " arey I won't do that because I'm not suhaagan anymore "...that's even more painful. Of course, it is the society that makes them do that !

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    1. Agreed Sreeja, women have been molded to behave that way since generations. God knows, when would they be able to come out of this??

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  17. Society's evils still do prevail does it not? Great post!

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    1. Yes, they still do Danny. Thanks for reading :)

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  18. what a brilliant brilliant piece !!! Society and its baseless beliefs. She deserves happiness too!

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    1. Yes, every woman deserves to be happy. Thanks Red :)

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  19. Wonderful. I wish there's a place we can quarantine narrow-minded people

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    1. Ah, how I wish too!! And that would actually do a lot of good to the society :)

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  20. And we call ourselves a 'modern' society ... thanks for sharing this post. This must truly be read by all.

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    1. We are nothing but a hypocrite society. Thanks for reading Amrit :)

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  21. Wow, I had no idea this was a facet of Indian society, thank you for sharing.

    Visiting from #atozchallenge

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    1. Yes, this is the unfortunate facet of Indian society. Thanks for visiting Cathy :)

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  22. Powerful post! Discrimination of any sort is pathetic. You may be interested in reading my post http://proactiveindian.com/2014/03/13/selective-discrimination/

    Came here via A-Z. My A-Z theme, ‘26 Positive Takes on Life’ generally focuses on positive, truly heart-warming, real-life incidents involving ordinary persons whom we can all emulate.

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    1. Yes, everybody has a right to be happy. Sure would love to read :)

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  23. Disturning, touching and powerful... I loved how you added the modern approach with sarcasm. Brilliant write.

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  24. Forceful post but luckily such beliefs and practices are things of the past except may be in some villages.
    A cruel tradition that has no basis and sadistic by nature has ruined many innocent lives.Mind you women have been the enemies of women

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    1. KP Sir, this sadism exists in cities too. But I agree, women have been enemies of women!!

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  25. This post has been selected for the Tangy Tuesday Picks this week. Thank You for an amazing post! Cheers! Keep Blogging :)

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    1. Thank you so much Team BlogAdda :) :)

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  26. Narrow thinking is the bane of our society.

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