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I feel anger rising within me as I write this. And I have a reason. No wait. I don’t have just a reason, I have reasons. I haven’t really ranted on my blog except for a few occasions here. But this rant is much stronger than all my earlier rants because of the way this topic has been attached to me since ‘I don’t know when’. So here we go.
I
have always been on the heavier side of the weighing scale all my life. You
read it right, all my life. Atleast from the time I remember. But that’s not
the point here.
The point here is the general attitude of society towards people on the heavier side of the scale. The attitude where they think it is their birth right to make fun of overweight people. Just like the way, they think it is our moral obligation to be made fun of. The attitude where they think that being on the heavier side of the scale is a sin and hence we deserve to be made fun of. So go ahead, make fun. Because we are like this out of choice and find sheer joy in being overweight. Right? Wrong. I am sorry to break it to you that we hate being your source of free entertainment. And that nobody, just nobody likes to be on the heavier side of the scale, for being mocked for the way our bodies are made differently than yours and for the way our bodies react differently to situations and circumstances.
Right
from acquaintances, relatives, friends to colleagues to total strangers, I have
been mocked for my body for the number of times I do not even remember with comments
as stupid as the fact that I carry huge bags because I need to carry a large lunch
box fitting my size. How lame. How stupidly lame. Or wait. There is something
even lamer. Like the time when I was running around in the office for getting
some work done. And pat comes the comment asking me stop running because the staircase
could fall. Right. Coz you see, I weigh equivalent to crane capable of
bulldozing an entire building. Wow. Just Wow. This is just the tip of an
iceberg of the nasty comments I have heard over the years.
And
then there is something equally irksome. The way everybody turns into so-called
experts on my body. The way they think they have the right to suggest me remedies
to reduce my weight. Because I have no clue how to do it and because I do not
know how to handle my body and because they are on the right side of the scale,
they obviously have more fitness gyaan than what I have and hence they
are obliged to throw their bizarre suggestions for weight loss in my face. As
if I am suffering from some terminal illness and they are doing their bit of
social service by providing their valuable suggestions.
The
more I think about such comments and instances, the more it angers me. Not just
because they were said about me but more because of the way our society behaves and
general perception of the people towards this topic. The way people have
no clue that fat shaming does not motivate anybody to lose weight and that it affects people at much deeper psychological levels than they could
ever imagine.
There
was a time when this mockery affected me for days. It affects me. Still.
Ofcource not to the extent it used to. Because today I accept myself and my
body much more heartily than I used to. And that does not mean I do not work
towards making myself more fit. This just means that I accept my curves and my stretch marks much more today than I did earlier.
But not everybody can cope with fat shaming. Even I haven’t learnt to
cope with it completely. But then why can't people understand that making fun of
people for their overweight body is somewhat equivalent making fun of a blind person?
Just like nobody likes to be blind, similarly no one likes being on the heavier
side.
I
have no clue why our society cannot take a heavier person just like everybody
else. Why is there always a need to look down upon me, to mock me or to advise me?
Why can't I be taken as just another person? Why can't I be seen more than
just a body? Why
does every other aspect of my personality hide under the fact that I am overweight?
Because I know that I am much more than JUST a number on the weighing scale.
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i am glad of your strength and wisdom there in the end and the realization that you are much more than a number or weight...its hard too with the image that is sold by media...and people are so insensitive...making themselves feel better at the expense of others....
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian. Yup, the media does play a big role in selling what a woman's body should look like. And well some people do feel good about themselves by putting others down..
DeleteBravo. Well said! How people can be crass and insensitive! Totally agree with you on this. Wish people would think before talking. But. That's not going to happen.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shailaja. Well, some people are difficult to understand.
DeleteI do hope people THINK because I hate it when people say I am fat, How can they.. I can do much more than any of the THIN people.
ReplyDeleteBut now I have reached a stage where It doesnot bother me at all , yes so what if i am ..
Bikram's
Exactly my point.
DeleteYou're right - you are way more than just a number on a scale. Don't ever forget that!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sherry :)
DeleteI wonder that too... Being healthy matters... And I cant agree with you more on how people pass comments if you are fat. Same is the case if you are thin.. So I think that it doesnt matter how you look as long as you feel okay!
ReplyDeleteExactly !!
DeleteThis is "Much more than just a post on blogger" ;-)
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note, we often find it hard to accept ourselves the way we are, in an attempt to fit into the society. But then, there is an individualism within us that we shouldn't ever let go of. True, we are not perfect, but why should the others poke their nose into it? We are humans ... the constant urge to make ourselves better in every aspect is what drives us on and on ... I agree with you, whatever we do with ourselves, is totally our choice ... we should learn to hold a deaf ear to those who derive sick pleasures in trying to bring others down ... after all, it's our life, and we should live it the way we want to :-)
Loved this inspiring post from you buddy.
With you on every word. Thanks a lot Sinha :)
Deleteyour irritation is quite evident in this post and I agree with your points. As long as people are not paying for our upkeep, we are answerable to no one. Such people deserve sharp hit-backs and then only they will keep their damned mouths shut.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have said all these things on their face itself. But then, we are tongue tied sometimes..
DeleteThis post is amazing! Very well written. Fat shamming has to stop!
ReplyDeleteYes, it has to !!
DeleteYou have clearly stated your thoughts and anger in this post. It is always better to ignore such people and move on with life which your the ending has said in bold letters my bold girl :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Uma :)
DeleteI agree with you Jyotsna... I agree that some people think they are perfect and tease others' flaws. If one doesn't have any, they find out a reason. They have problem with everyone except themselves! But, one thing, they will only stay there throughout their life, mocking others. They won't grow, that's punishment for them!
ReplyDeleteTC! Keep smiling :)
I don't understand how are people so insensitive, Sindhu.
DeleteThe haters are going to hate. I have been on both skinnier and heavier side and it doesn't matter. Those who wanna say bad things will always find something or the other. Since we don't have a cure for sick mentality, lets just ignore them and live our lives to the fullest, the way we want to.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Lets just ignore their mentality and live fully.
DeleteThough written in a humorous vein, this is a very thought provoking post.Those who pass such remarks on the body of others,are themselves psycic!They are not only shameless but mentally sic!The people who pass such degrading remaks, have been found to have their own sisters with a heavy built. The best way out is to ignore them.
ReplyDeleteYes Ma'am. That's what we should do but it does enrage you sometimes. Hence, the outburst.
DeleteI can feel every word, Jyotsna.
ReplyDeleteSorry that our society reacts so. Funny when people , who are not exactly "fit" comment on others' fitness. Wish they would get a life & do other more productive things.
Thanks for the support Anita.
Delete