Monday 16 February 2015

When my soul went discreetly quiet

When the gypsy in me
Could no longer flee
Hypocrite to myself I now seem
While strangling, one by one, my own dreams
And amidst all this uprooting disquiet
I felt my soul going discreetly quiet

When people who so near
Could no longer hear
My insides tearing apart
Tiny pieces crumbling from my heart
And amidst all this uprooting disquiet
I felt my soul going discreetly quiet

When friendships that were strong
Made you feel all wronged
Facades that I couldn’t break
Trust even was put at stake
And amidst all this uprooting disquiet
I felt my soul going discreetly quiet

When everything around seemed hazy
Madness inside reached a new level crazy
Control on life was unheard of
Once silent waters now seemed rough
And amidst all this uprooting disquiet
I felt my soul going discreetly quiet

Because your soul has a way
To make you hear which aloud you can't say  
It withers from the insides
Without making much noise
And amidst all this uprooting disquiet
You can feel your soul going discreetly quiet



Written for MagpieTales # 258
Imaginary Garden - The Tuesday Platform

28 comments:

  1. That last stanza really summed it up for me.

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  2. when we can not follow our passions
    or be who we are anymore, it does draw your soul to silence
    and that can be hard to face....

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  3. I like the repetition of this, and I think sometimes the soul does understand the need for going discreetly quiet.

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  4. Very beautiful and quite sad. Is this a known formal style poem? I enjoy the repeated lines.

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  5. A touching poem that leaves nobody unmoved. Superb and touches every human nerves, Jyotsna:)

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  6. soul withering from inside is sad indeed....i like the repetitions too....

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  7. When we stop searching for happiness outside, may be that is when the real journey begins... Ethereal...

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  8. This is sad but i feel also a contentment within it. Makes you want to delve deeper.

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  9. The hidden soul always remains hidden and quiet while the unreal I masquerades as real self.
    Nice poem.

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  10. I like the repetitions and the way you have put it. But its sad

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  11. a soul withdrawing into itself, will whisper to its ego, you just have to listen, really
    Have a nice Tuesday

    much love...

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  12. there are so many external and internal challenges to being oneself, to becoming the self one wishes to be.
    we all traverse our paths in different ways and most end up short of where they wish to be but i think that's because we lose sight of ourselves while looking back and forward and not appreciating ourselves as we are in the present.

    this was an insightful piece and well penned through repetition.

    gracias for sharing

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  13. When the soul speaks it can be a whisper and it can be loud and clear. A lovely write indeed! :-)

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  14. I love the repetition… perhaps a quiet soul is only waiting to be noticed?

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  15. Fantastic from wonderful title, to repeated closing lines of each stanza, to its culmination. Such truth. I especially love "tiny pieces crumbling from my heart".

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  16. Nice depth, fabulously filtered in the last stanza.........

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  17. The repeat in this is haunting.

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  18. Wow! The last stanza really hit me. Beautiful

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  19. Touching words. Nicely expressed.
    Can relate :)

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  20. Very heavy, I know this feeling.

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  21. "When people who so near
    Could no longer hear"

    that is lonely indeed! Very moving.

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  22. What an amazing, well composed and written poem. Bravo!

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  23. Agree with Bjorn - a good finish ~

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  24. A haunting piece ... what a play of words ... awesome.

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  25. hi .. sorry to be so irregular on reading your blogs !
    nice play of words :)

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