Sunday 27 March 2016

The Lovers and The Leavers

The lovers who turn into leavers. The leavers who you try to take as lovers. You sometimes have an inkling from the very beginning that they aren't meant for you. That no matter how much they mean to you, you are never going to be as important for them. You see it coming. Their absence. Your expectations. And the combined hurt.

You probably have thought about it in your head. You think that you will survive through this too. After all you've seen worse. You've felt far more unwelcome in their life while you were with them. I mean how much could this hurt? How bad could it be? Maybe that's why you have prepared yourself for it. Rehearsed the whole scene. Tried to guess the reaction. Yours and theirs too.

Then why did you have that lump in the throat? Why did you have to reprimand yourself all the time to be strong. You wanted to feel that it wasn't hurting. But it actually was.

That's when you realize that no matter how much you prepare yourself for someone's leaving, you are never going to be prepared until the precise moment comes. That every person in your life leaves their impressions in you.

That every person who leaves, adds to the emptiness. That every time you find someone to distract you for a while is creating a bigger hole inside you.

That's when you start living the froth. Showing the foamy parts of you. The prettier version. All made up. Because you don't want anyone to see the hole. In the hope that one day, maybe even you would not be able to feel it. Maybe. Maybe someday.

7 comments:

  1. How true! You keep thinking you'll do fine after that someone leaves, and maybe you do for quite a while… until the ice breaks and the void within becomes too big to go out of notice.

    Maybe you just learn to live with it sooner or later. The void is here to stay.

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  3. It's so true about life and the gap they leave in our life makes it difficult to fill.

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  4. Such a fine post, Jyotsana. I could so relate!

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  5. True, one day things may change their patterns.Good write-up.

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  6. Isn't it a phase an experience ?
    A person walking out is not as severe and it cant be as devastating as losing someone. I guess you'd agree.
    BTW thanks for the visit to my blog and comments

    ReplyDelete
  7. Isn't it a phase an experience ?
    A person walking out is not as severe and it cant be as devastating as losing someone. I guess you'd agree.
    BTW thanks for the visit to my blog and comments

    ReplyDelete

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