Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Five Sentence Fiction - Dazzles


As a head-maid, she rushed around the house entire day overlooking the preparations for birthday party celebration to be held in evening.

She knew everything had to be perfect right from decorations, food, cake and return gifts because her madam wouldn’t take anything less than that.

While serving the guests, a quick look and tears rolled down her cheeks seeing her daughter who dazzled in her pink birthday frock looking every inch of a fairy while blowing two candles on her Barbie doll shaped cake.

She knew that being addressed as a maid by her own daughter for entire life was worth the pain because the well-to-do life her daughter was getting at the house where she had been faithfully serving was something she could never have been able to give.

After all, what more can a mother’s heart desire than a child’s wellbeing!!





This five sentence fiction is written for the topic 'Dazzles' at Lillie McFerrinWrites.

52 comments:

  1. I didn't see that one coming, Jyotsna! A nice take on the prompt capturing one of the most sacred relations- a mother's love!

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    1. Thanks a lot dear :) Yes, there is nothing more sacred than a mother's love !!

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  2. This was one dazzling post Jyotsna! The end was quite moving. After all what else would a mother wish than seeing her child getting the best in life.

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  3. The twist.. I could have never thought of that!

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  4. uh oh i didn't see that coming! sad!! but well written!

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  5. Wow.. What a twist.. Totally unexpected!!

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  6. This was unexpected! Good twist, Jyotsna :)

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    1. Glad I could make it interesting Aayesha :)

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  7. ohhh now that was totally unexpected ... Nice one ..


    Bikram

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    1. Thanks Bikram. Glad to see you here everytime :)

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    1. Well, poverty dear.. It makes people do things that they dont wish to do :(

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  9. wow such a nice post Jyotsna. Beautiful at the end
    Tina from The Sunny Side of Life

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  10. ah the twist .. liked it .. !

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  11. You make me want to know the full story. Give it more than 5 sentences, will you?

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    1. Well, I would surely give it a try Sakshi :)

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  12. Oh, No!! Can something like this happen??? You writers make us move just with a single word! Brilliant one Jyotsna! TC! Keep smiling :)

    Regards,
    Sindhu
    Tantu
    The Arts & Me

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    1. Well, yes it can happen Sindhu. And "You writers make us move just with a single word! " - Thank you so much for this line :) :)

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  13. That was an unexpected twist. :)

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  14. Does the little girl know that she is her mother (biological one)?

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    1. Hemu, she is too young to know about all this. As you can read above that she is just celebrating her 2nd birthday. So no, she doesn't know as of yet !!

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  15. The twist was really unexpected...but it was really dramatic... nice one..

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    1. Yeah, I like a bit of drama ;) Thank you Maniparna :) :)

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  16. the twist depicting sacrifice !! love it ;) !

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  17. Awesum... Blend of words simply brings a smile and a tinge of pain as well
    Keep writing :)

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  18. That was a bit of a surprise ending. Good one. :)

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  19. Gosh Jyotsna! What a twist in the tale!
    Well done, as usual :)

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    1. Thanks a lot Anita !! Glad you liked it dear :)

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  20. Oh! That was bitter-sweet. A wonderful story in 5 sentences. Will there be a sequel to it? :)

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    1. Thanks Shilpa. Well, let me see if I can put up a sequel to this :)

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  21. Great job! I didn't expect that surprise at the end. I loved it...and I can imagine it leading to an entire book.

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    1. Thanks a lot Stephanie. Glad you liked this so much :)

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  22. A mother's love is selfless and unconditional, just to see her smile will give the mother all the happiness in the world. Thank you for the encouragement:)

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    1. You have said it correctly, Vandana :)

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  23. Beyond beautiful. Well captured!

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  24. Goose bumps! Speechless. Such is love of a mother. Beautiful Jyotsna :)

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