We all have friends. Different types. Some of them work their magic like those sleep inducing drugs that drown you slowly in their friendship and gradually the beauty of friendship overtakes your life. And then, there are some like booze. You are high. But if have them around you for a longer period of time, you risk being addicted to them.
J. belonged to the second category. Together, we were a madhouse. We didn’t get along like a house of fire; we got along like a City on fire (if there is something like that). Yes, it was this amazing. Instantly liking each other, instantly developing a rapport, instantly falling into the pattern of understanding the other person’s insanities equally well, coz you are like that too.
I met her at my office. I still remember the day we first met. She had joined a little later than my batch and had come to meet me. I came out and she said, ‘Wow, you are wearing red, you look really nice, it really suits you’. And that was the beginning of an amazing friendship, which I never thought would go such a long way. For her small 8 month stint at my current office, the fun we had was unimaginable. Gladly, the friendship continued even after she left for greener pastures for which I still sulk at her.
Right from talking about clothes, to make-up to boyfriends, to 'ahem-ahem' to movies to books to restaurants, we have shared it all. From gossiping to bitching, to ranting or just being there for each other without judging, we have done it all. The best part about us was always being in-the-moment. Always talking about the ‘Now’. About what fun thing we are doing, about what new place we have visited and such stuff. It was always about present. Always. Future? Who cared ??
She got married and has now become a 'Non-reliable' Indian in the U. S. of A. I thought her settling there would affect us and this long distance would take a toll on our friendship. Surprisingly that hasn’t been the case. We have been talking even more often now. Which means her poor husband is paying for our telephone bills :P And boy, what have we been talking about? Or what have not we talked about? Right from her finding her new apartment, setting up her home, shopping (obviously), her new friends, her New York trip, if she faced racism and God knows what not.
Some time back she started thinking about Future. Yes, Future! Something that we never talked about before. And her one such talk almost pushed me to the edge of a nervous breakdown. Babies !! Yes, she was talking about having babies :0 I know it might be ‘the’ thing that every married couple thinks about, but discussing baby plans and that too us? The most fun-thinking, fun-having friends, talking about babies! The poor unmarried me could do nothing but nod.
There she was, my fun loving, never serious J. talking so maturely about having babies and bringing them up and why it’s the right age to do some things. And me, sitting scared under the table thinking about the horror of losing my awesome friend to a whiny mummy.
The next few days, I spent musing (read scared) over this. And the next time she called me up, I told her about the horror I have been going through. And she laughed! And boy, she laughed. I even thought about telling her to wait for me to get married. I mean, we done so many things together, you see. Yeah, yeah I know that was a little too much.
But while all this, I was thinking, how we change as people from time to time. The fun loving in-the-moment people change to future-oriented mature talking people. That’s just one example. I am sure most of you would have changed yourselves or seen people around you change. For good or for bad. And I know, it’s said that ‘Change is good’ and ‘Change is the only thing that is constant’ and other such blah blah but isn’t regularity somewhat comforting. I mean, knowing that people you know, people you love would remain the same always. Because then you know which people you should hang on since they would remain the same forever. The good ones would always be good. Then, you also know that you need to chuck the negative ones from your life because they would stay the same as well. I know it’s not really possible L
Nevertheless, after horrifying me with her ‘baby’ talk and knowing its effect on me, the older madhouse friend seems to be back. Calling me in the middle of the night, totally drunk and there we were, talking away gibberish as we always do! Sigh ! The small things ! The ones that make her smile! And the ones that make me too!!
P.S. - J, I am missing you like hell L