Friday, 29 August 2014

What if I run into you someday ?


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Dear Someone,

Strange! Strange that we live in the same city, walk the same streets, cross the same traffic signals, see the same buildings, may be even visit same restaurants; every single day. And yet we have never crossed each other. Never. In all these years. In all these years, I have met people I have not wanted to meet. People have run into me at wrong times at all wrong places. But we? We have never run into each other. Never!

Sometimes I wonder if we live in such a huge city that we have never been able to meet coincidently. Is the city so painfully big that we never cross each other? I never realized the vastness of our city earlier. It wasn’t that huge when you came all the way to meet me from one end of the city to another. It wasn’t even that painful to travel to meet you every weekend. I don’t remember myself complaining about the journey ever. Was it because that journey ended in me seeing you? Maybe!

I have inkling that destiny is playing its part? Purposely not letting us cross each. Purposely holding us. Away from each other. May be because it knows the future already!

But, who knows, that maybe, maybe, last Saturday I sat at the same table in that restaurant after you left. Was that the reason I unconsciously chose that table inspite of having an empty table nearer to me? Were those fragments of your empty frame on that table that had tugged my heart for a brief moment at that time? Was that the reason that the waiter stared at me a little longer; maybe he too was recalling the times we went there together and recalling the arguments we had while ordering? Did he recognize the fact that we came one after another and not together anymore? Maybe he did.

Or maybe we sat through the same movie show. Of course, in different rows and of course with different people. I wouldn’t have noticed you in the darkness of that movie hall. The same kind of darkness that engulfs this heart everytime it realizes the fact its beats are no longer heard.

Who knows that you would have just crossed the same street just a few minutes earlier than me? Is that that reason why the air in some streets seem heavy to me without reason. No, may be not heavy. May be it just smells different. As if my senses recognize you. Still. Still.    

Sometimes, I wonder what if I run into you someday. What if, we actually come
across each other at that street passing near your office where I walked down to meet me you or what if you visit at the same time that swanky coffee shop (which you hated and I loved; although I do not know the reason as to why would you visit that place without me forcing you to tag along) or that shopping mall where I spent hours; not leaving the place unless boredom showed on your face and you threatened to leave me there right away which I was pretty sure you never would and you never did.

What would happen then?

Would you recognize me still? I hope you recognize me. I know you would. I would recognize you in the sea of faces around. In this lifetime for sure. May be in another too. Recognize me, ok? Coz I would.

Would you be formal and just say hi or meet me the way you met me earlier? With a hug. Would you hug me the way you hugged earlier? I hope you hug me. I know you would hug me. And I hope you hug me a little longer than usual as if filling in for all those days when you haven’t. Would that hug fill our hearts with the same warmth as it did earlier? Mine would. I hope it does the same to you. Hug me, ok? Coz I would.

Would you smile at me or feel awkward seeing me after such a long time. Painfully long time. For me, I guess. I hope you smile at me. I know you would smile at me. The smile that creates a dimple on one side of your cheek. Smile, ok? Coz, I would.

Would you talk to me in that same nonchalant manner? I hope you talk to me like that. I know you would. Would you ask me how I am doing? Without you? No. No, wait. Don’t ask me that. What if I am honest in my answer to that question? Please don’t ask me that question. Don’t ask, ok? Coz I fear what if I ask you the same question, and what if you too answer it honestly.   

Would you say goodbye a little too soon. I hope you don’t. I know you wouldn’t. No wait. Say goodbye soon. I wouldn’t want you to see my tears. I wouldn’t. But wait. You didn’t see them earlier and you wouldn’t see them now. Say goodbye at the earliest, ok? Coz I would.

You know what; I did run into you at that street near your home a few days ago. Just that it was only me who noticed you. Just me. No, I wasn’t hoping to run into you that day. I don’t remember hoping to run into you that day. I just remember that it rained that day. It rained !! After I ran into you.



30 comments:

  1. This post somehow reminded me of a short story by Haruki Murakami "On meeting a 100% perfect woman". Very beautifully written, Jyotsna :)

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    1. Oh is it? I should read that story. Thanks a lot Ayushee :)

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  2. Omg! I have no words. I think we all feel this after parting from someone we love!
    I could totally connect to all emotions, Jyotsna :)

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    1. Yes, I guess we all do. Glad you liked this Aayesha :)

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  3. Jyotsna some of your posts are so touching, just like this one. Straight from the heart!

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    1. Thank you sweetheart. Glad it touched you :)

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  4. This made me sad...a beautiful haunting sadness.
    I dont want to feel this way in real life though. Scary.
    Loved it.

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    1. I hope you never ever feel this way. Thanks babes :)

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  5. lovely, emotional, moving post, Jyotsna.. now i only wish i don't feel this sad and lost in real.. loved your writing.

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    1. I hope and pray you never feel that way Meera. Glad you liked this piece!

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  6. Who is that some one? ;) cute one Jyotsna :)

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    1. Well.. someone, I guess ;) Thanks Saurabh.

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  7. That is a emotional post for me as it brings some past to the fore and what if i run into the person ..
    I am sure honest replies will hurt more , so i do prefer not to run into ..

    Bikram's

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    1. Yes, honest replies hurt. I hope you do not run into somebody like that, Bikram.

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  8. sad but so moving post ! emotion well brought up :)

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  9. Isn't it sad? For everyone who has been through this, with friends, family and a few very close friends? One day we're getting along so well and another day we avoid catching each other's eye. Really painful.

    Wonderfully written and expressed :-)

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    1. Yes, you are right Ashwini. It's sad. Hope that never happens with you ever. Thanks a lot dear :)

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  10. Straights from the heart which touches others heart too

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    1. I guess that's the beauty of heartfelt posts. They touch other hearts. Thank you for a wonderful comment Chaitali :)

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  11. A beautiful emotional post...loved it Jyotsna :)

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  12. it made me cry! so emotional n so touching post...brilliant write up Jyotsna

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    1. Awww.. Sorry it made you cry. Glad you liked this so much Shreya. Do visit again :)

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  13. Speechless...!!!
    Too Good... :)

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    1. Your 'Speechless' says a lot. Thank you :)

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  14. Superb Jyotsna... the story may has pain to share but, it shared a surprising part of my life... I had sat and watched a cultural event in our school for whole night and today I regret that I didn't notice my man performing on the stage... We were studying in the same school and college campuses for 5 whole years but we never met! We have been waiting for our buses in the same bus stands or have traveled in the same buses, yet had never met... So strange! And so, we are connected to this story... :) Thank you dear...

    TC! keep smiling :)

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    1. Now that is one coincidence, Sindhu. Life sure is strange. Lots of love :) :)

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  15. A haunting expression that stays on

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    1. Thanks for visiting Ilakshee. Hope you liked it :)

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